Sometimes I wonder if I'm worth it. 

Sometimes I just wonder why am I born......

some people just don't understand you enough....then they said your full of excuse......what a judgemental people in this place.

When they know about your situation, they start ditching you and says "don't talk about this depression , I don't care about it.."

Those words just rings in my head. Then all my childhood memories just triggers it.

In front of people I pretend to be bubbly and cheerful girl, behind that mask is full of sadness,hatred and more. I've kept these all those feelings by myself, 2 years. Those years I kept on fighting with my parents and of course I cried obviously even though I didn't intend to cry and wanted to say something but if I said something the problem would be even worse, so I kept quite and kept everything by myself. Until at some point I need to take it out on something.....of course I felt relief but when my parents saw it....they just shout at me and disappointed faces on.....I couldn't describe it fully but it was horrible. Then that triggers it, I do it several times each day almost.

My friends notice this, they all concerned but it didn't last long. They ditched me and starts talking at my back, which hurts me even more in the inside, but on the outside I just kept smiling about it. Theres more are to be told but I need stop here for now.

Today I survived all those obstacles and I'm greatful for that:) 

* sorry for grammar mistakes