Damn. That is the only thing I can think of, at the moment. Why am I so bipolar? Why am I so messed up? What has happened to the once strong and decisive woman, with edgy principles and unlimited vanity? Where had she disappeared to? 

Had she been in the clawing arms of the so-called phenomenom - Love? But then, is she not she supposed to return to me once it ends? Love has to end. And I should be revived. 

Tell me, how is it possible that, I still yearn to listen to the notes of that song you once played for me? That 'dull' song as you named it. But it sounded so magical, with your fingers across the chords, your guitar coming alive, glowing with that feeling. 

I hate and love that song. Roşu Aprins, that dull song. Ardent Red, just like the burning inside of me. I am burning. But not for you. Not for your voice, not for your touch, not even for your infecting perfume. I am burning for myself. I yearn to feel the same, so feminine, so perfect - whole. When I was near you, I felt completed. No, it is not you bringing the changes, but me, stealing unlimited possibilities from you.

I am a woman. And women are cunning, selfish and always ready to offer their essence for Love. I guess I should feel sorry, for not offering anything in exchange, and taking you for granted.

I should feel sorry for making you shiver, for making you feel bliss, for making you think I am affected. But I am not. 

I am, therefore, a woman. I am Eve, just as you are Adam. We are bound to destroy each other. So I let you go.

I am left with the yearning for red, and that song. I am burning, until my flames will be extinguished. And then, I will set my heart on fire again, while listening to this damned song you made me love so much. The song you left behind. I will burn and burn and burn, without feeling the warmth of the flames.

And I will keep on burning, until someone might come along, throwing water on me, and making me stop. Please, take this heart of mine, which is unable to love. And offer me pleasure, happiness, make me whole.

Make me feel complete, like the brightest flames of Red.