Advice Anyone? T.T

Hello everyone. This is the first time I'm going to write a blog about my feelings ( PERSONAL feelings ) and I'm beyond sad right now.. :'(

If anyone doesn't like emotional blogs then you guys are free to go back to your usual thing.. Thanks for noticing my blog though.. I don't mind..

= = = = = = = = =

It's about my SUPERULTRAMEGA bestfriend.. Let's just name her Maki.. ( Not her real name )

All I can say is, she's the most sensible person I know.. And she's the only one who understands me in ANY situation I'm in..

I'm really lucky to have her for 8 years - - And counting..

One thing's MORE scarier than dying is letting a WORSE MISUNDERSTANDING occur..

When I do something wrong she goes silent and puts on a poker face..

Then she won't tell me what's wrong yet she'd still talk to me BUT in monotone..

And she's really different when she's angry. ( Well. Everyone IS scary when angry. But in my case.. IT'S A NIGHTMARE. )

A short story on how it came to be was..

Earlier, I was with her and my other bestfriend ( The youngest. She's still in Junior High ) and I bought them Floats from Mcdo near our school..

( We visited her in our old school when me and Maki graduated High School )

Then when Maki was about to throw her cup..

" I'll just threw this okay? " Maki was smiling..

" W-Wait! " THREW " ?? HAHAHA. " I was laughing beside my other bestfriend..

" What's wrong? THREW . " Maki was pretty clueless..

" Lol. Maki still doesn't know xD ( to my other bestfriend who's giggling ) - - What I was trying to say here, you should've used THROW instead of THREW! xD " I continued laughing a bit..

" Yeah. You haven't done ANYTHING yet to use THREW in your sentence xD " - my other bestfriend

" That's a student from La Salle! xD HAHAHA :DDD " - me

( Note: To all who's unfamiliar with ' La Salle ' - - It's one of the Top Universities here in the Philippines and her campus is in Manila.. I'm in La Salle too but in a provincial branch ( Dasmarinas, Cavite ) but still offers quality education.. )

I was busy laughing but I managed to say.. " SORRY BROOO! Just kidding!!! ^.^V "

But she was already walking towards the trash can.. Then I composed myself and told my other bestfriend to accompany Maki..

Then that's when Maki was bitter to us and she won't tell US her problem..

I was REALLY puzzled why she suddenly changed.. I kept asking her why but she wouldn't spill..

I already had a bad feeling about it but I kept shrugging it because I believe that if you keep negativity in mind, it happens. >____< AND IT REALLY DOES..

You guys are now probably telling me:

" She's your bestfriend for like 8 FREAKING YEARS!!! HOW COULD YOU STILL BE INSENSITIVE?! "

" You're soooo rude to her. It's ALL YOUR FAULT!!! "

Yeah.. I know what I did.. But here comes another problem..

APOLOGIZING IS ONE OF MY DEEP WEAKNESSES..

When I do something wrong, I can't just bug her to forgive me.. I find the right time to bring up a personal matter.. And I observe the person first before I go and talk privately..

Maybe it's because I'm VERY ASHAMED of what I've done wrong ( Especially to Maki ) that I couldn't get my actions and words straight.. It's very much hard to explain further though..

She's VERY IMPORTANT TO ME and I tell you, I'm VERY PROTECTIVE to my bestfriends and friends..

I'm really depressed right now and I hate myself for saying those things >.<"""

I'm going to compose myself and apologize properly tomorrow.. T.T

She's really hard to talk to when she's in a bad mood :'(

I really disn't mean them.. But yeah. The problem's here now and I'm crying again.. TT.TT

This is not the 1st time.. The recent one was when me and Maki were in our 2nd Year in HS and Maki and almost ended our friendship and the misunderstanding lasted for 3 months :'(

THOSE WERE MY DARKEST DAYS..

I always cried in front of her while apologizing that time and she just walked out on me..

I was really hurt and cried more that afternoon - - - I DON'T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN AGAIN!!! <\3

We've already gone through A LOT and I'm really afraid to lose a kind of Bestfriend like her.. :"(((((

= = = = = = = = =

Any insights? - - - I can take on ALL JUDGEMENTS may it be bad or good.. It's totally fine with me.. Just be honest..

Thank you for reading.. HAAAYYYYY.. TTTT.TTTT

Comments

You must be logged in to comment

Vitium #1 Jul 10, 2013 15:24:04

...idiot... you hurt her pride xD
if she is a la salle student, and if this la salle thing is really this good, then I suppose that she is proud of going to this school... So of course it hurt her pride when you and your other friend laughed at her because she said threw...
or maybe she was embarrassed, but however, you. make. up. to . her.
Just say what you told us :)

geumanhaeyo #2 Jul 10, 2013 12:52:08

maybe she was just embarrassed because you laughed at her with your other friend.
truth is, we're kind of the same.. my bestfriend was like that before.. and i find it difficult to apologize as well..
so what i do is i give her some time to cool off for a bit.. and when the situation doesn't feel too heavy.. i try to make up for it by doing things that she likes.. so she'd forget about being sad..

work hard! you can do it~ :)

greatcause #3 Jul 10, 2013 11:17:08

Hey . Err . You WROTE this asking for advice right ? Soo, u don't mind I leave some words here right ? Ahem ! Well, in your case here . . I just have some words to say . . Just keep on trying to make up with her and never give up ! Show her how much you want the old her again and treat you like usual . Don't show her your tears and begs but try to make her happy and do unexpected things to her . Like, do all her favourite things . . etc . . Well you guys have known for 8 years already ! Cmon you must know A LOTTTT !! Right ? And most importantly , WHEN IT COMES TO THE RIGHT TIME (When she finnally talks to you or what) , ASK FOR APOLIGIES A LOT , GOT IT ? A LOT :) . Be confident and brave if you want her back ;) . Well, I guess thats all . . sooo , sorry for harsh words or maybe this is not helping at all . But , I just want TO TRY to help :) . #Atleast I'm trying right ? Just spill it out ^ ^

SirenityxMustache #4 Jul 10, 2013 11:07:33

I'm like you too. (But i don't have problems with my friends) i can't make myself apologize, and just wait for what i think the right time. But sometimes those right time will just pass if you don't apologize quickly. Say Sorry to her and be Sincere about it. If she walks out, then prove to her that your sorry by your actions.

Good luck. I hope that you and your friend will clean up this Misunderstanding soon. 8 years is such a long year to just let it go like that. Hwaiting!