I used to baby sit my bestfriend’s cousin. She was one heck of a headache. Always borrowing my phone, which I hated doing to me the most. Always butting in conversations. A really annoying kid. Oh yeah, she’s only 7 years old.

She was also very greedy that my bestfriend would sometimes scold her for having leftovers on her plate. I would end up reminding Dem, (my bff) to calm down, ‘she is just 7 years old’. We had to have patience, I was 12 older than her, therefore I know more, and I am older. I must understand her and not lift my hand to slap her for being a kid.

There are times that she would bother me and ask nonsense questions. Sometimes I answer her but sometimes I ignore her. Sometimes, I bribe her with other things. (It’s something I would like to do to kids, bribe them) Yeah and I enjoy accompanying kids even though I was a mean older sister to my sibling (cause that’s what an old sister does annoy her younger siblings anyway back to the topic..)

Brey, this little brat even though I only knew her for a little time. Even though she would bother me whenever I visit my best  friend. Even though she’s a cry baby. Even though she would always decharge my phone for playing games. I was moved when she messaged me on facebook

“Unnie why are you sad?”

“No, I’m not”

“Really? Tell me Unnie why are you sad?” She asked me again.

I just replied, “Because I want to do something, however I can’t”

I didn’t bother to look at my messages again. I simply logged out of facebook, scared of what she might reply.

However, the reality that that little brat was curious why I was sad was something I really never expected.

I guess she was just curious, but then I remembered my bestfriend would tell me that Brey wants to see me and casually asks when I will visit their house again.

I hated her when she cried because I always thought that doing something you can’t is a childish thing. But, I was wrong, here I am mourning over a dream that’s about to be shattered in a few months.

I wanted to tell her what really happen, I had a lot of reasons to be sad today,( really, aside from my savings, however I’d like to keep quiet regarding some other things that continue to devastate me). But I am scared that I might infect her innocent mind and beliefs. She might not understand it too. But, the thought that a little child asked me why I was sad simply brought me to tears. I used to ask that question when my friends were bullied, and surprisingly a little kid asked me that question while I was struggling.

Maybe she wasn’t used to see that side of me. She always saw me smile at her while lending my phone or while answering her little questions. Maybe on my bff’s birthday I can see her, and I’d treat her a little ice cream, cause even for a little while I had a little friend that gets worried while I am sad.

====================

this day is a huge 3 :"(