I need someone to get writing advice from~

I was wondering if someone could read my stories (Mostly the Fulfilling your Dreams one) and give some advice on writing techniques and things like that. 

 

I have a hard time describing places and people as well as transitioning from one "scene" to the next. 

 

THANK YOU SO MUCH <3

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Leaderbrokenstar
#1
You can use commas or periods. If the scene bothers you, you can skip little by little and describe the scene with fluid words so people can imagine the scene. E.G: the sun was bright and filled with warmness when it rose up behind the hill.
You described what you felt about the sun and how it looks.you also described what the colour of the sun was and what did it do. For example, did the sun set? Did the sun rise? Is the sun at the high top? Will e sun set or will the sun rise.
Use describing words for how did the sun act.
I know it's a lot to read.