i'll just be open with myself a little. i used to have a boyfriend two years ago and we broke up really bad due to something serious, but hell, a lot of time has passed and i haven't been able to change my feelings for him from love which is already this big.

hell, i still love him, looking at his photos with a smile on my face like a fool - then my friend came up and asked, "the hell? why do you look like that you want to cry?"

but i thought i was smiling - but did i really make such a sad expression beneath my smile? for these two years, that's what all i do? smiling yet wanting to cry?

perhaps it is the reason i am struggling to write any love story now because heck, currently it's hard for me to capture what is love.

that's why i can never understand love, because myself can not get over my own past, and i am such a coward.

it feels so hard for me to continue writing again hahahah xD seems that i can never satisfy my readers and since i get lack of time to write, my story has become such a failure :p

i'm so demotivated right now.