AHH. Sorry guys, you guys must hate me. I would TOTALLY understand if you just unfriended me because I'm so flippin depressing. 

I. 

GIVE.

UP. 

I'm tired of trying so hard. I'm never gonna get anywhere so theres no point in me trying so hard. 

1. I try SO HARD. In art, and my drawing skills but I'm never good enough. It doesn't matter what I do, I'm just not good enough, I lecture myself in getting better and practising more but, I just can't anymore. I'm fed up. I just don't wanna try anymore. 

2. I did a fashion course last year for my year 9 options, since we can only pick one. I DON'T KNOW WTF WAS GOING THROUGH MY HEAD! I just wanted to pick fashion and design for some ty reason. My final peice, came out a bag of . My course work was pretty too even though I tried so hard yet everyone else just looked awesome, My cousins final peice was SOO GOOD. She made a skirt and I swear to you, it was so good I ACTUALLY though she bought it from a shop. And now she got some award thing and if she wins she gets £200. YES, £200!!! 

Do you know how much I'D KILL. Just to get that. I'm starving myself in school to save up flippin money!!!! (To go korea which I'll probably NEVER go to anyway.) 

3. I'm trying so HARD TO LOSE WEIGHT. Eating less, eating healthier, drinking water, doing a hour or half of cardio atleast a day. (AKA me dancing like a retard to KPOP tunes.) I walk around so much in school and AHH. Nothing. 

I'm done. Even my stories are pretty . I can't even write properly! WTH!? I'm just tired of trying to be the best I can, when just that isn't good enough. 

To be perfectly honest. I don't even know If i'm going to have a future. I'll probably fail My GCSE's cause the goverment is making it harder, my teachers aren't exactly that great. I admit, I am pretty lazy. But even when I try, Guess what !? Well theres no point cause I'll fail anyway. 

I'm going to be 70, forever alone. And live with millions of cats because, well I just am. 

I mean I ACTUALLY think I have a chance of this magical moment when one day, I'll go korea and I'll meet some sweet, amazing person and I'll get married blah blah, or I'll meet Kai and he'll suddenly love me. (If only) 

I am so tired of having these high expectations and hopes about things when. 

I can't achieve them. 

-_-