I WROTE THIS ON TUMBLR JUST NOW. PLEASE READ IT'S IMPORTANT.Hi there. About an hour ago I saw The Great Gatsby with my very best friends. Now I'm sitting here on my bed,devastated,lost out of control. I can't be out of control. If I am,when I am,I feel like the world is going down. I realized that I and  Mr.Gatsby have many things in common. You see,we're very much alike. Let me tell you about myself and please don't leave yet cuz the story has yet to be told! You're even free to judge me for my very own being. I don't know who I am myself. 

Mr.Gatsby or may I call him Jay? Do you prefer James Gatz? Anyhow. He is a very dedicated man,knows what he wants. He had this dream about perfection in his life and he did everything,way more than you could expect of a human to fulfill it. He built up facades and hid behind a mask of a gentleman without any flaws. He knew how to act human and little did they know what actually was to be found.This is where I,during the movie, felt . The person who originally created the story must have known Jay's inner thoughts so well and it made me scared. Am I not hidden too well? Will they realize my insanity one day and change me? Just like Nick did. He saw,he knew the real Gatsby. Soon enough other people knew that he was a man with flaws just like everybody else. It's something that I fear. Both Jay and I grew up poor. I was raised with my single mother with many jobs and my father left us before I was born. I love my mother very much but I felt already as a child that I deserved more. Was I too greedy? Am I still? I dreamed about fame,money,a career as a singer,fans and success. Why did I grow up as a poor child with difficult circumstances and not as a rich brat in America with easy ways to get what I wanted? Ever since....forever I have been living with three personalities. Three facades. I'm known as the polite and friendly girl in school who always smiles,laughs and whom doesn't do bad things. I have many friends. I think they all care for me and it hurts to not know if I care likewise. I don't know which character whom is the most Me. I don't know which character who's real and which is not. The second character is the Daughter. I take care of my siblings,care for the home, serves my stepfather like a slave and happily greets his punishments for not doing anything wrong. When he left us last year I thought my life and my plans would go on towards the right direction. It was a little harder than I expected. It was a bit of a lost when he left. Now there's a gap in my facade due to my carelessness in acting. Now that I'm telling you about my different characters I have put myself in danger. Please don't hurt my future like They did with Gatsby's. I'm too young to die. I'm ready to do whatever it takes to complete my mission sent by no other than myself.My goal is irrelevant for now. For you to know. The whole point with this post is to tell you about my chaotic inner me. Though the story was brilliant,the movie was amazing and everything it has somewhat ruined me a bit. In my world there is only me and my hope to success with the life of me. That hope is always there and it drives me to continue with my life. The third character is the narcissistic me who thinks this whole world is about me, I'm the main character. You are just peaces I need to reach my goal. I have my ups and downs. It's like a game. I don't have a second chance. I don't have a second plan. If I fail this then it's over. I don't have any other reason to keep on living. I've always been this person. I'm sorry dear friends,I know you thought I cared. One character do,perhaps two! But I don't know which part of me that is real and which one that's fake. Now the main reason to why I've written this monologue is to tell you about my bursting heart. I feel like falling down. All these similarities that I and Jay have... 

He dies. 

He fails.

He never reached perfection.

He never reached happiness.

He didn't get another chance.

Tom whom realized the very insanity of Gatsby is the reason behind his fall. He told that man about Jay. He found a way to pass through the walls Gatsby had created and he shot him dead. I might as well have spoiled the whole movie to you now. But please,go see it if you haven't already. 

The only thing I'm asking for

Don't deceive me.

Don't betray me. 

Perhaps I'm insane but I don't hurt anyone 

Also..

Go ahead, reblog this if you find a reason to but don't speak about me out loud. When I reach perfection half of my story has already been told. You've read it. Now I'll bury myself and think about success and happiness and hopefully I will escape insomnia tonight.

What if I fail?

Then I'll die.