Title: 3 / 10

Does is grab attention at the first glance? - No. Why? Because there's a lot stories with the same title. I know it was based on a song, so  I won't kick all the points out, but it's not original. 

Appearance: 10 / 10

I like the poster a lot - it gives the angst feeling and it's high quality. The description and Foreword appearance is also very nice.

Description and Forward: 6 / 15

In the description, you just wrote a part of the lyrics and personally, I doubt I would click on a next button just by that. However, that's not the only think sores my eyes - please use big letters when writing the letter 'I'. You don't have a foreword; I don't count the author's note.

Characterization: 6 / 10

I think you should work a little more on them - but on the other hand, it was enough, because this was a four-shot. Anyway, I like the way you described Honki and his actions, also the ex - because you made a reader dislike him and to step on Honki's side. About the girl - I don't know, even though it suppose to be me, I felt quite awkward reading 'you' most of the time. 

Plot: 2 / 10

Well, It's not unique - since it's based on a MV and I've read similar fic to it already. However, I like how you put the ex there.  

Flow: 4 / 10

Oh girl, you were going so good on this and then you mess it up it the end. For a good impression on a reader, the end is the most important! (At least it is for me). You shouldn't hurry the end, because it was really confusing. It kind of ruined the mood you were building up trough the fic.

Grammar and Spelling: 15 / 25

I haven't seen any spelling mistakes, but please, please don't use *CRASH* or *SLAP* to show the actions of the characters. I know it's a lot easier like that, but try to describe it differently.

Bonus: 7 / 10

I would lie If I said I didn't like the story at all. It made me giggle at some parts and there was really nice fluff at the beginning. 

Comments:

I hope I didn't insult you somehow and maybe I was too harsh. I hope you're not mad! I believe you'll improve a lot though the time, so work hard!

Score: 55 / 100 :: D