Wae?
Why do I hate crying? . . .
I have many reasons why . . .
What does crying do? It relieves you, right? For me . . . it just makes me depress more. When I cry, I start to think about a depressing moment I had in the past that I suddenly remembered . . .
But people see me as a happy person . . . Happy? Yes, I'm a happy person but . . they didn't know that behind those smiles and laughs were . . . sadness and lack of comfort. When I cry, I try to smile and tell them I'm fine because I don't want to be a burden for them or laughed sometimes.
When there's a fight between my friends, I would be the only one who tried to smile and hid the sadness. But when I'm alone . . . I can't hold it anymore and cry alone under my blanket at night.
And when I'm sick, I don't show it and tell them I'm fine, I don't feel sick. To my family. . . these days I never told them that I felt sick this morning and hid it.
And I get hurt easily (that's what I hate about myself /sighs/) . . . even a tiny little word can hurt me.
"They stay infront of the villa and talkingflirting with some guys."
. . I heard that from my bestfriend from my other best friend. First, I laughed it then . . . went in a dazed and . . cried. My friends were shock and told me to 'SHH. They might hear. SHH. Please don't cry. I hate it when you cry. She didn't say that to you." See? They don't want to see me cry because I rarely cry at school. Freaking RARE. I never cried infront of many people witnessing what's happening like a stupid show.
I prefer being alone and ignore unimportant people and do my thing. I don't give on their s. That's why I don't approach much people because . . . there are people who . . . just smacked their faces on you when they need something. Like fuq? I do want to help but . . . no.
I observe the people around before I approach them. They approach me and judge me.. suddenly. those fuqers.
. . . i'm sorry if im being too dramatic but i don't have anyone to comfort me at home because if I told them about this, they would rage and attack that person and I don't want to make a nonsense play.
I share these stories to you guys . . . because you're the only people who can comfort and make me happy. ; _ ; The only people who can make me blush and encourage me while I'm still on vacation but still have problems.
Anyway, I begun crying because I was reading a fic and it was soooooooooooooooooooooo freking sad that I can't stop crying but nah. XD
(im not really an approachable kid at school bec. i just stare at them and turn away. kekekekekeke.
Some thought i was glaring or mad at them . . . like i just look at them with my normal stare or . . . not? nevermind. XD and im not that sociable whatever. )
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