Feels weird to be writing after such a long time, but here I am. It's better than screaming your head off and looking like a lunatic, I suppose. Please, ignore me because I just made this blog post to vent out my feelings.

My mother had a quite few friends who are gifted with the ability to communicate with otherworldly spirits. Some are even exorcists. Creepy, I know. But that's not what's freaking me out.

You see, ever since I was little, they have been telling her that I have that gift, too. Saying that I could feel them and later see them too. Several even offered to 'open my eyes' so that I could view them in plain sight. I'm grateful my mother rejected the offer, otherwise I would be terrorised by who knows what day and night. Honestly, I didn't believe much of it at first. I mean, seriously? How could someone like me do that kind of stuff?

But then, a year or two ago, my grandfather's sister passed away and we came to visit him around a few weeks after. She had cancer, if I'm not mistaken, and spent her last days in his home, strapped to a hospital bed in my grandfather's room on the bottom floor. And I didn't know that. After lunch, my younger sister asked me to accompany her to the bathroom, and so I went into his room and stood in front of the bathroom door, waiting for her to finish doing her business.

That was when I felt the very tips of my fingers tingle, an abnormal heat mingled with coolness spreading throughout my body. Then came the uncomfortable feeling that I dreaded the most. It was as if there were invisible walls pushing every side of my body. I found myself struggling to breathe, my chest heavy, and I quickly stumbled out of the room, wanting to get as far as possible from it. I ran to my mother, who was sitting in the dining room with my grandmother, and I told her everything.

Afterwards, I found out that my grandfather's sister's spirit was still lingering inside the room and was reluctant to leave, though she finally departed after several weeks. That was my first encounter with a ghost.

Actually, I was a little overjoyed at first at the discovery of my gift. Being a little kid, this whole ability seemed like some sort of superpower for me. But as time passed I began to realize that things are not as delightful as it seemed. In fact, I hate it. To the utmost degree. The whole sensation was much too terrifying for me, and sometimes I found myself asking God why he gave me this gift. Why he made me suffocate almost every time I go somewhere because the place was reeking with ghosts.

I've learned to adapt now, thankfully. I found out that I could tune out my ability when I want to, and only activate it when I concentrate hard enough. One of the gifted people once told me that I should not be afraid because there was someone protecting me /the idea of having something trailing around behind me all the time makes me shiver, but I'm glad it meant no harm and was actually a guardian/, so I'm a little more at ease with my ability now.

What bugs me is that I couldn't talk to anyone about it because nobody would understand. That's why I decided to pour out all my feelings here. I feel a lot better now, like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

/jeez, this whole thing is sounding like a fantasy tale. well, it's true. though it's hard to believe, i know/

Okay, I'll go back to studying Physics now. Wish me luck on my IGCSEs, will you?