I remember very clearly when I became a fan girl. I have always been in love with music. Not one day passed where I didn’t listen and jam out to at least 30 minutes worth of music. Although my love of music ran deep in my veins, I never found the need to buy all the albums of a particular artist or felt the need to see them perform live in concert. I couldn’t fathom spending so much money on merchandise that had their name on it just because it had their name on it. I also couldn’t understand how someone could spend hours upon hours scouring the net for pictures and related information. In fact, I actually looked down on those pathetic fans who would cry at just the mere wink from one of their idols. Growing up, I loved the music for the music not for the artist. 

 

My cousin actually brought my attention to this ever growing genre called k-pop when he showed me Girls Generation Run devil run because he liked their long legs. I, on the other hand, was mildly interested and the next time that I found myself on the internet I looked them up to see what else they had to offer. Clicking here and there I eventually stumbled across a brightly colored music video that was apparently made to promote a cell phone. After that 3 ½ minute long video I was intrigued as to who these boys were.I never thougt a cell phone would change my life. One view of Lollipop with BigBang and 2ne1 later, i was a star struck fan girl.  I never thought YouTube could be such an addicting place. Before this I couldn’t understand how people could just sit for hours and watch YouTube. Yet here I was letting time slip away from me as I looked up videos of this quintet that danced and sang their way into my heart.

 

Now at first I thought that maybe this might just be a phase I was going through or just a passing fancy, but the more I looked, the deeper I fell into this rabbit hole. I had to know more. I spent hours on sites like Wikipedia and on different search engines like Google trying to find out all I could about this group. I eventually found my way to an international fan site that had everything from past interviews to current news, and I was home. Bigbangupdates.com kept me in the know as well as filled me in on things I had missed out on. 

 

One day I found out that my favorite group was coming to America on their world tour. Activating Fan Girl Mode. I think I even squealed a little when I found out. It was actually my first concert ever and I went all out. The fandom had come together and had planned many activities to make this tour stop a memorable event. From fan chants to flash mobs to special glow sticks to personal fan made messages to give to the group, we had a blast. From 8:00 in the morning to 11:00 the next night I was in full fan girl mode. I made many friends who were just like me. In the end I lost my voice, my body felt like it went through a few rounds with a UFC fighter, and I think I spent in all over $500.  I don’t regret a thing.

 

Going even further into this rabbit hole I then wanted to learn how to understand them. You see, about 95% of k-pop is in Korean. So, in my quest of becoming the ultimate fan girl, I began to learn how to read, write, and speak Korean. One thing led to another and then I started to learn about the country itself, which sparked my interest in traveling there one day.

 

In my rational mind, I look back on this and shake my head, trying to figure out how I got this way. Loving the music because I love the boys or loving the boys because I love their music, will be the one question I think I will never be able to answer. Being a fan girl is fun and as I mentioned before I don’t regret a thing.

---

i wrote that for my as one of my college essays. my professer loved it... i figured i'd let people take a peek into my world.