Proud
For the past months, I've been watching DBSK videos and concerts repetitively, reliving the days when they were still five, when they were still complete. With that said, I find that one of the videos that I keep coming back to is their encore 'Proud' performance during their Five in the Black Tour back in 2007.
The first time I becme fn of KPOP, I wasn't that active, nor was I crazy about it. I appreciated their music and I found their varities shows funny, but that was all there was to it. I became a fan of Super Junior, SHINee, and Dong Bang Shin Ki. But after a while of listening to their songs again and again, I lost a bit of interest in them. Then came DBSK's split, and that's when I completely cut myself off from KPOP. With them gone, I thought that I didn't have any epic songs or beautifully emotional performances to look forward to anymore.
But then for some reason, after a few years, I started watching KPOP videos again. Specifically, Dong Bang Shin Ki videos. The first one I viewed from my fandom-hiatus is their live performance of 'Proud'. Needless to say, after I watched that video, after seeing Yoochun, Junsu and Yunho choke on their parts in the most raw and genuine ways, I was in tears.
The way Yoochun would look out into the crowd of fans, looking as if he still finds their success in Japan unbelievable, the way he suddenly stops singing his part because he just couldn't control the tears, the way Changmin smirked at him, the way he had to turn around to compose himself as Junsu urged him to turn back around, the way Junsu ended up crying as well, choking on his own part, the way Yunho empathically watched his fellow members, looking as if he wanted to cry as well, the way Changmin only laughs at his hyungs for being so emotional, and the way Jaejoong smiles at Yoochun in the most motherly, loving, comforting, affectionate way imaginable -- all of this made me realize how passionate these men were (and still are) of their careers, their craft, of their bond with each other. This made me realize how much they cared about each and every one of their members, showing such honest and raw vulnerability towards each other on stage. I have never seen any other group take away from their professional characters in any live performances, but I am overwhelmingly glad that these five people let themselves go on this performance. Professional or not, it made me love them even more.
I don't know why this rant came to be or why I even thought of posting something like this up. Maybe I'm just overwhelmed with how amazing this group is and how letting them go their separate ways was an utter waste of what could have been a group no one had ever seen before, a group of undoubted talent and passion.
Now, other people can say that I'm being overly emotional about this, that they're just some KPOP group and that I shouldn't be such a sissy. I'm not reacting this way simply because I am a fan who in a way, lost any chance of ever seeing her favorite group together again. I am reacting this badly because they were a part of my life growing up. I had spent some of the most pleasant days of my life laughing at their antics, crying because of their particular tear-jerking performances. It's just hard to suddenly lose something, one that you had gotten so used to having around.
They could've been so much more. But life happens, and things don't always go the way we want them to. So I'm left to hope that they will come back together one day, as 5, as DBSK. But for now, I wish them the best of luck in their future undertakings. It probably doesn't matter, but I am proud of them. I may not know what happened behind closed doors back when the split was only beginning to emerge, but as idols, they have done their part, exceptionally and, in my opinion, better than any other group could have done.
AKTF.
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