Hi guys!

So, last night I posted my new oneshot, STOP.  I have a friend going through this very problem and he asked me to write a piece with this story line for him.

When I thought about writing this, I was honestly scared.  What if this made it worse for him?  What if he found it too depressing?  Too wrong...What if he came to hate me for writing this because it was all wrong?

And from my readers, I didnt think it would get a reception like it did.  I thought everyone would hate it.  It was too dark.  Too tragic.  Too upsetting.  What if you all left me because this was so far off the mark from what I usually write?

But I wrote it anyway.  I have come a long way as a writer and have more confidence in my skills and I see that I am continually growing.  And I had great faith in all of you, my Aegi's and my readers.  This is honestly a huge step for me, because I have major confidence issues and a hard time putting my faith in anyone.

It actually all came out within a couple hours. All 11 pages, over 4,000 words.  My roommates were accommodating and allowed me to finish writing and editing in the car on the way to dinner.  My friend set up a remote hot spot so I could upload it at the restaurant when I was done.  They cheered me on and comforted me as I panicked and wanted to delete it entirely.

And then came the comments.  Some of you were surprised.  Some of you cried.  Some of you left mean comments in my PM box.  But, there were a lot more supportive comments than negative ones and some of you surprised me greatly.  I wrote this only with the intention of helping one person.  But I was shocked to know that maybe, I have helped others of you.  If this is the case, then it makes it more than worth it for me.  

Even now, as I re-read the story and try to correct some of the mistakes, I wonder if I should take it down.  It is a sensitive topic, a hard thing to talk about.  It is scary, and dark, and very real for many people all over the world.  It should be talked about more because this is a sad reality, but it isnt.  We hide our weakness behind smiles.  We cry in the dark.  And we are afraid to get help.

I know I have said this before, and I will continue to say it over and over.  I am here.  Behind this computer screen, I sit here, a vulnerable and weak person like many of you, but I am still here.  Like you, I have my battles, some I win and some I lose, but I am still here.

If you are at that low point, if you are drowning, if you are scared, if you need help and dont know where to go, please remember that I am here.  If you just want to vent, if you want to share a secret to get it off your chest, if you want someone to talk to, I am here.  I am not an all-wise or all knowing person, heaven knows I have a lot to learn about myself, but I promise on everything I love and hold dear that I will not judge you.  I will not mock you.  I will do my best to help you and lift you up again.  I know that I have people in my life who are there for me in my times of need and I am more than happy to be that person for you.  

Please, guys, dont go through these things alone.  I may never have met you in person, but if you have read my stories, if you have commented, or thought about commenting but were too shy to, we have connected.  You have seen a part of me and we are connected.  I am not a stranger to you.  I am your friend, so please use me as such.  You know I love each one of you, right?

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Writing is scary for me sometimes.  I share a part of my soul to all of you and it makes me vulnerable.  Especially with this last piece, I have shared a darker part of me and I am scared.  THANK YOU for being gentle with my fragile heart.  THANK YOU for taking the time to read.  THANK YOU.

Love,

Llya