Can I be selfish for a moment? I'm hurting right now, and I just want a hug. 

Towards the end of March, my sister-in-law walked out on my brother after a drunken fight. We didn't see this coming, and her family is basically forcing pressuring her into a complete divorce. At the request of my family to avoid further pain to both my brother and sister-in-law, I'm not speaking with her. My parents don't want me to contact her first, and she hasn't contacted me. I really miss her and I really want to talk to her again. It hurts that I can't just randomly text her anymore, and knowing that she hasn't reached out to me makes me really upset. I'm starting to wonder if she'll miss me at all when everything is over. My sister-in-law and I are were very close. She and my brother met in high school, and we've gotten along wonderfully since day 1. They would have been married for 3 years this coming October. She and I have shared everything, from shoes to pants to accessories to secrets. We've been more than sister-in-laws since their wedding; she's been my older sister in every way. I used to go to her all the time for advice, and she used to vent to me about the little things. We would go out for lunch, go thrift-shopping together, or go on long walks just to talk. I'm scared. If their divorce goes through, I'm scared I won't be able to do those things with her anymore. I feel like I'm losing my sister, and it honestly hurts. 

I'm at university, 2.5 hours away from home, so I'm not there with the rest of my family during this time. I don't know when I will see her again, and part of me is scared that I won't see her again. I may be overreacting a bit, but I'm sad.

(This is me with my brothers and sister-in-law (on the right) with another friend.)

Around this time last year, my brother and his long-time girlfriend broke up as well. I had accepted that girl as a sister too, and she, my sister-in-law, and I used to go out and have random sister dates. When my brother and his girlfriend split, she and I didn't talk as much. We still talk, but we're not as close as we were before and I know that I have lost some of her. I really don't want this to happen to me and my sister-in-law, but I don't know how to stop it. I've lost 2 sisters in 2 years, and it hurts. 

(This is us Christmas 2011. (I'm in the middle.))

The three of us were as close as real sisters, and I can't believe I'm losing both of these amazing women. They've helped shape me into the (19 year old) woman I am today, and I don't know what I will do without these constant presences in my life. My sisters, I miss you! Please don't forget about me, ok? I love you.