~MORE THAN YOUR VOICE~

 

“He’s up next!” Angela squealed in excitement.

In the midst of the crowd, the group of friends waited patiently just for this specific performance. Or at least, she did. It was his solo after all. Of course, the others were just as amazing, but his is a tad bit more special to her. He was yours truly, after all.

“KYAAA!!!” all of the kissmes screamed in unison as the lights flickered on, revealing a man, fitted into a breath taking white suit. Hair styled perfectly, just the way she like it. Fans slowly waved their bright pink light sticks back and forth as the soft music started. For some reason, Angela was completely stunned. But in a good way. Everyone around were pumped, but her…she couldn’t help but feel little butterflies attacking her tummy. Her eyes widened at the sight.

Smoke started crawling down the stage and all the spot lights focused on that one person that she was able to call hers. The screen showed a leafless tree, surrounded by nothing but dead grass. Then it started snowing.

Somehow, the performer managed to find that special person somewhere in the pink ocean. Just before starting, the two locked eyes, and then he parted his lips. A perfect note floating out.

‘na anin saramgwa naranhi geodneun geol boryeoni,
nae mami jeongmal michil geot gata.
neomani ojig, neomani nareul chaeuneun geot gata, kkaeuneun geot gata. 

Seeing you walk side by side with someone that’s not me,
Really makes my heart go crazy.
Only you, only you are filling me up, waking me up.’

It’s as if her heart just stopped right then and there. It was just the two of them. Both stared into the souls of each other. He continued, only looking at her.

‘georie saramdeul sogeseo neoreul chajeul su itdamyeon,
geujeo mareobsi naege dasi doraol geot gata.

If I can find you among the crowds of people on the street,
It seems like you would just wordlessly come back to me.

By now, the snow had piled up, revealing a beautiful background that fits perfectly with the current song. The couple still looking at each other with the most warming expressions.

jigeum i noraereul deudneun damyeon,
ajig nareul ijji anhat damyeon 

So if you’re listening to this song,
If you still haven’t forgotten me’

‘Jeb-al…’

Everyone could see the shock in his face. Never had his voice cracked. Especially during a live. Angela, as well as other kissmes seem to be taken a back, but quickly redeem themselves and continued cheering. She smiled to him, and mouthed, ‘It’s okay.”

He, on the other hand, absolutely did not think it was okay. It was the first time his loved one came to see him live…and he just wanted it to be perfect. He couldn’t bear to look at her anymore, the disappointment and embarrassment killed him. But he was a professional and continued the song with a heavy feeling in his chest.

dan hanbeon irado nal bwajwo sseumyeon,
geujeo naege dora wasseumyeon,
ajig kkaji nan neol gidarindago geurae.
dasi naegero neo dora ondamyeon,
geujeo naege ondamyeon…
neo geurae jundamyeon…
geurae jwosseumyeon joheul tende? 

If only you would see me just once,
If only you would come back to me,
I am still waiting for you.
If you come back to me again,
If you come to me, if you do that…
If you do that…
How great would it be?

The song soon ended. He looked at Angela, with this apologetic look. Once more, she mouthed, ‘It’s okay…’ as the lights dimmed and he disappears in the darkness. In a few moments, the lights came back on.

“…IT IS TIME FOR THE THIRTY MINUTE INTERMISSION. THE PROGRAM WILL START AT EXACTLY…”

Angela wanted to see him so badly, so she found this perfect opportunity and excused herself before dashing down the aisles and bursting out the entrance door, bowing apologetically at the fans that she might have accidentally bumped into.

By the time she reached the ‘DO NOT ENTER’ part of the building, there were two buff body guards in yellow uniforms standing in the way. Angela approached them slowly, picking up her VIP pass that hung around her neck.

They immediately stepped aside, opening the door to let her in. A woman came to her to the stars. They passed a bunch of busy workers along the way, rushing back and forth to prepare for the next performances. There was a small food and drinks table, place to the side. Untouched. Opening one last door, they finally arrived at the dressing room. Stylist noonas worked feverishly, some of the boys were already done and sat to the side.

Angela hesitantly walked in, bowing respectfully at the elders.

“Hey, Angela,” a man with bleached blonde hair approached her waving, “Haven’t seen you in a while. How’ve you been?”

She waved back, smiling, “Fine. Hey Hoon, have you seen-“

“Yeah, he’s just outside the back door, probably crying,” he chuckled before walking off.

She blinked a couple of times before heading to the exit, saying ‘hi’ to the fellow members and bowing to the passing workers. As the door neared, Angela’s heart beat raced. Opening it slowly, she was met with an empty lot and one street light. Walking out of the building, arms wrapped around herself, she looks to her left.

“Soohyun.”

He looked to her direction from his standing position, back to the wall. Only getting a glimpse of her before looking back down to his feet.

“I-I’m sorry…” he muttered. Angela stepped closer to the white suited man before asking, “What for?”

“You know why…I-I just want everything to go well for your first live…my stupid voice…it doesn’t listen to me…” he laughed softly, still focused on the sleek black boots.

Angela reached out to his arm, “Soohyun-“

“You must hate me don’t you…I’m really sorry. I really hate myself for messing up. I got so excited when you said you were free and that you could come to our concert. So I wanted to do a solo. Just for you…but I blew it,” he finished, all in one breath.

“…”

“Are you done, now?” she asked. The man nodded. “Soohyun-ah…I don’t hate you. That little crack? I don’t care. Because you were still the brightest star in the world to me. I love you, and you know that,” Soohyun finally averted his attention to the petite girl. Amanda gathered all of the courage she could muster up and wrapped her arms around Soohyun’s waist, placing her head just beneath his chin.

“And it’s not just for your voice. It’s more than that,” Angela held his face in her delicate hands and whispered, “I love you…because you’re you.” And closed the space between their lips, he then held her tighter to his chest.

It’s only you, only you are filling me up, waking me up.