(Credits and help from ClaireKrystalWinters ^^ she's the best.)

Dust Bowl Dance

 

Title: 8/10

I don't get how the title relates to the story. It is a nice song title and makes me want to click on it, but I feel that naming the story something like The Only Son would have been more fitting.

 

 

Characterization: 9/10

I understand that your plot doesn't allow you to 'flesh out' your characters more, so I'm not going to penalize you too much. Yongguk's feelings were portrayed very well, and there were snippets of Junhong's character throughout the fic. :)

 

 

Grammar: 13/15

Some minor errors here and there.

 

Examples:

I had let my little brother alone and now I had to pay for it.

(Do you mean 'left'?)

 

An angel, either female nor a male.

(It should be 'neither'.)

 

Throbbing pain, medusas' madness.

(It should be Medusa's madness.)

 

 

Flow: 4/5

It's a bit too fast-paced, and it's still unclear why Yongguk's parents were killed. What I understood from the story is that it had something to do with the King... It flowed quite nicely though. :)

 

 

Plot: 7/10

There were many parts you merely skimmed over, like the reason Yongguk's family was killed. It would be better if you could write in a way that lets the readers understand what was going on when they read your story, and not have to read your author's note to understand. It wasn't clear to me that he'd killed his family's murderers. He could have just taken the gun for self-protection. Although it is a oneshot, it would be better if you could elaborate more so it doesn't leave the readers with many questions.

 

Total: 41/50 :)