Events in the past may be roughly divided into those which probably never happened and those which do not matter.

To say I am torn is an understatement. I was out with friends and as usual they were discussing movies and I was silent. They know I prefer to read books and so they let me space out while they talk about movies. I asked them about stuff, about what they want in an ending. I told them two scenarios, both were cruel... and so I ask myself, will love really be enough? 

Will you want a man who'll tell you, 'I'll go if it means more time to be with you." or will you choose someone who'll tell you - "No matter what I will stay." Will you let him throw away everything for you? Even if it defies everything else in this world... or will you let him go? Will you want a 'Nice Guy' ending or will you want to just continue what you have at the moment? Do we go Arang on them or Roof top prince... or maybe A queen In hyun's man would be enough? I actually hated the Fact that Rooftop prince made Han Ji min meet up with Tae Yong, I fell in love with Crown Prince and her then I get the reincarnation and her? That seriously made me lose sleep. Nice Guy didn't even satisfy me. They reversed roles it was cute but at the end I can't help but wonder about many things.

Endings are hard. Do I go the safe way or the alternative? Both are scary actually... no ending can be too satisfying... in fact even happy ever afters only last for a while. 

Will you chose honesty or will you let love hide all flaws? Will you just let him lie to you? Or will you braven up and ask him? What if the answer is something that can break you two apart? Will you still want honesty?

The truth is I know what I want but it is really messing up with my brain. I am very big on the right thing to do... but what standards do we have to say something is not right? It sounds so wrong, lying is bad... but can love make it all right? And your only reason is to spare them from pain... I am now going on circles, I am debating with myself. This is not only true on stories but in real life too.

My dad told me not to tell mom. He badmouths mom. My mom told me not to tell dad. She badmouths dad. I am torn in between. I am lying to both of them. I feel awful but I am protecting them from one another. Do I choose honesty or do I just listen to them and do nothing? Somethimes I wonder, am I a smooth liar or they just trust me too much? the latter actually hurts more than being called a liar.

Phew, it's another rant blog about my weird way of thinking. To those who read Equation, yeah I am so torn... I really feel like I am Jong kook... what do I do? Sadly Jade is not real or if he is I'm sure he'll just smirk at me and let me think through this alone.

But not all of this that I ranted about is about my fic because I am reading some stuff. The guy already told the girl about his lies. It's always like that on stories and they just forgive and then everything's fine. It's not to okay to me though. But like the all stories, it's all about acceptance, love etc. Now I look like someone who can't accept things right away, but I'm really like that. I have a friend whom I haven't talked for 4 years and we were the bestest of before. It just faded away and I can't remember already what happened but you can't force me to talk to her. I just need something big, something that can make everything insignificant, and the story was... ugh I don't even know how to finish it.Sorry for wasting your time (-,-)

Gosh another stupid thing happened. I am typing this when I heard someone talking and I'm alone. I got scared for a moment and I kept on turning around.... then I realized I am wearing headphones and not a headband, I thought the music I am hearing came from the radio and I freaked when I heard someone whispering -_-' I can feel ghosts in this house sometimes >_<