Ohmgh what is up with every one seriously sometimes I just wanna dig hole (not too deep cuz then I'll get to the really hot part and die or I'll find hell or what ever the you thinks down there) and line on it away from the stress and realisation of the hole that we live in!! I wish I could go back to the time I was in year two (when I was 6/7) and just stay like that for a bit or restart from there so I can do things differently become friends with the people that really matter and carry on with things I gave up on instead of wasting my time on useless and horrible people who really to be quite frank didn't and don't deserve any of my time. I would even be happy to go back to year seven (where I was like 11/12) again keeping and befriending the right ppl and because the year after that was the year everything came crashing into me like a like a ing lorry of worries and stress realisation and all the other bull sheet that comes with life after a childhood where my true innocence was cut away from me with a rusty spoon and the true reality hit me right in the face like a harsh slap, the year that I realised how many of my friends felt like and were depressed, getting drunk left right and centre and self harming and all that stuff I was more aware how ppl actually felt and how fake their smiles were thinking back I wonder how I didn't notice. I guess I must have been in my own little bubble of lalaland. I'm glad at the same time because if I wasn't in that bubble who knows who I'd be right now and knowing was also good too it meant I can help the ppl close to me and such it's just so distracting sometimes and I know every body has their problems so I tend to keep everything to myself my troubles other peoples troubles and what not but I guess I can handle it seeing as I don't cut and I can still laugh and smile crack jokes with every body with a true feeling of happiness in my heart but I worry because lately I tend to stay up later pondering things in my head ... It really does worry me but I'm glad I have some friends which I can just hang with and guarantee that I will be laughing till I fell that sixpack on it's way I'm glad I have them my two bestfriends I guess, that I can muck about with and be a "child" with again I'm sure I will never selfsame dayum that's just too scary and painful I would be able to take the pain at all and that also I am glad of ... well rant over and pent up anger gone I guess I'll be off to bed now (it's 2:40 in the morning) feel free to tell me about your problems and maybe we can help each other out deal with it together. Forge a strong friendship over it and gain some understanding about life maybe o.O as you can see I'm really not the depressed type I guess I'm a glass half full type but when I'm angry the glass is always half empty but luckily that's not too often ^^ I should stop rambling any go to sleep. PS add me as a friend PPS I didn't edit the rant and I'm on my phone and as some pool might know AUTO CORRECT HATES ME ㅠ.ㅠ PPPS sorry if this makes you feel ... Depressed REMEMBER THE GLASS IS HALF FULL OF YOUR FAVOURITE NON ALCOHOLIC DRINK ... OR Maybe it's half full of your favourite kpop biases *raises eye browse suggestively* TAMSIN GADD IF YOU ARE READING THIS NOT ON THAT SUGGESTIVE WAYYY ;^; OK! PPPPS I DID NOT MEAN THIS TO HURT OR AFFECT ANY ONE OR IMPLY THAT CUTTERS ARE WEAK JUST THAT WE ALL HAVE DIFFERENT WAYS OF DEALING WITH THINGS !!! PPPPPS SOORY FOR ALL THE PS'S