i dont know what to say nor what to do, i feel like im digging into my old scares ,, i can feel the blood drips like a river ..

im trying my best to smile , to laugh , to grin , to fake happiness , to trick people.. to believe that im happy .. i dont want

anyone to see my other face ,, my other personality,,my heartless , cold-hearted, careles , sad , depressed , hurt, broken side..

  because i know deep in my haert that everyone even my best friends .would leave me as well ,,

no matter how much they would assure me they wont but im sure they will leave me just like everyone does ,

, not that i mind really i have already gave up ages ago on friendship thingy ..well yeah i do have friends ,,

best friends but i still feel empty ..

i feel so lost

http://www.google.ae/imgres?q=chanyeol+smile&um=1&hl=ar&sa=N&rlz=1T4NDKB_enAE516AE518&tbm=isch&tbnid=PF2qZeSUsA_DoM:&imgrefurl=http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/327132&docid=jVvobwhqpXHJLM&imgurl=http://i.imgur.com/vEmAt.gif&w=437&h=250&ei=wV9oUdeKG82trAee74GABQ&zoom=1&biw=1024&bih=556&iact=rc&dur=94&page=1&tbnh=140&tbnw=247&start=0&ndsp=15&ved=1t:429,r:4,s:0,i:91&tx=184&ty=68Maya, ..