TITLE: (2/5)

The title is really common. It’s also not something that would really grab my attention. For you to have readers to actually want to click on your story, you need an eye-catching title.

DESCRIPTION/FOREWORD: (5/10)

Well, there’s hardly a description, so I can’t really say anything here.

CHARACTERIZATION: (15/20)

Characterization is okay. I also can’t really point anything out since this is a oneshot. I can understand Zelo’s character fairly well, but I’m a bit lost with Himchan and Youngjae.

GRAMMAR: (16/30)

I’m sorry, I’m a really big grammar nazi. I can pick out words really quickly. Do work more on your grammar and you should vet your tenses. Try to refrain from repeating words like “broke up with me and found a better person than me”. You should also work on your punctuation.

PLOT&ORIGINALITY: (5/10)

The plot can be easily found in a lot of stories. The guy doesn’t get the girl, the girl gets married off, he’s all alone, that kind of thing.

APPEARANCE: (13/15)

I really like the poster. Your oneshot’s layout is not bad either.

ENJOYMENT: (5/10)

TOTAL: 61/100

Extra:

Hello, I hope you’re not insulted in any way with my review. I personally like Zelo a lot, and I love angst stories. This was a reason why I was stricter on you. Especially since this is a contest entry, you should try to perfect it to the maximum.

For your story, I don’t feel that it is angsty enough. I didn’t even tear (and mind you, I cry easily) But according to your contest entry, the prompt is for “romance” and not “angst”? The contest holder also said that if you wanted to write angst, you should “make her cry flood of tears” as well. I don’t think it has reached that point. Nonetheless, good luck with the contest!