Its a rainy crappy day. I am feeling really sad and depressed today. Maybe when I go back to the doctors on the 23rd they can actually give me something I can take and have it work. I really doubt it though I have tried so many different meds.

My baby was supposed to be on hours ago. She isn't  *sobs* . I hope everything is okay. I don't think I will be able to talk to her till after I get back from dinner now unless their is a mircale and I dont have to go out to dinner. I should be doing dishes right now but I havea head ache and I just don't feel like moving right now. I have an appointment on the 22nd that could possible change my life for the better. I pray that it all turns out, so I can get out of here and start a new better life with my baby. I think if that happens it will help some with my depression.

OMG sorry lol just a Yoochun attack in my headphones. I swear he is trying to kill me with his y voice.  I guess I wait a little longer see if my baby gets on and if not then I go do my dishes and get ready to go out to dinner. Will be forced to go to a place I hate, not like anything there to eat, get yelled and  talked down to for that. Have a long ca ride there and have to listen to them and yell because  there is a car in front of them or because they had to stop at a stop light. Listen to his family comment if they dont like my clothes or how I dont eat enough. Listen to him his sister and mom burp or talk digusting during dinner. Have a long car ride home and listen to him how he worked all day and didnt feel like having to go meet his mother and sister for dinner but doesnt have the balls to say so. Well I am done ing now. Thanks to who listened lol.