INFINITE AFF AWARDS 2012 REVIEWS
SILENT FRIENDSHIP
Note: After the first 5 chapters I read every alternate chapter, so I might be a little wrong in my interpretation, especially of the plot.
Title 5/5:
It totally ties in with the story!
Originality/Plot 21/25:
The plot of a friendship which develops into love, hmm... I've seen it a few times here and there. I really like the way the yellow daffodils and the lemon candy made Sungjong's favourite colour yellow, but still there's one point in the story in which I found a but weird...
In chapter 6, the nurse came in saying "Sungjong-ah, ..." I was thinking, Myungsoo would have known his name by then since the scene played rather vividly in his mind :3
But other than that it was a great story. Honestly, I love the ending. I had goosebumps reading when Sunggyu came up with the group name and I almost teared up.
Mechanics 17/20:
There were a few grammar and typo mistakes here and there, but I think that the author's command of English is good, so I shall not correct the mistakes here since I see no need to.
Writing style 8/10:
I like the third person POV, being able to bring out the thoughts of all the characters. But sometimes, it's a bit of a spoiler since the reader can kind of predict how each character would react to the situation. Probably writing it in Myungsoos POV mainly in the beginning and Myungsoo's POV to the back would help in building up the tension.
Characterisation 19/25:
I could clearly see the personalities of each character in the story, except that maybe the development of Hoya's role as the caring hyung could be more so as to show a greater contrast between him and the coldness of Myungsoo. Then again, I only read alternate chapters, so I might be wrong about it.
Story flow 8/10:
Idk if it was due to skipping chapters, but the jump from the hospitalised Sungjong to the well-and-healthy Sungjong was a bit abrupt, and it took me a while to get it, along with how his personality had changed.
Appearance 4/5:
Font was clear and size was okay, except that I didn't get why some sentence were in bold. Maybe italics with a change of font to Georgia would be nicer. Idk that just my personal preference.
Total: 82/100
8FININTE: PART 2 MYUNGJONG'S STORY
Title 5/5:
The title was rather straightforward that it was going to be MyungJong fic and it was relevant.
Originality/Plot 21/25:
I personally don't read fics unless asked to review because I cannot stand the whole drama when the character reveals they are gay, so i don't really know how often used this plot is. The reason for such a high score is because I really like the use of the star as a symbol of hope, and how when Myungsoo said he wasn't Sungjong's star and in the end it brought them together. I also quite like the use of his stage name as a way to cover up his true self as he was in denial.
Mechanics 18/20:
I have hardly given anyone such a high score for grammar and language, but I have no choice cos the vocabulary was varied and the grammar was rather okay, except for some mistakes here and there, which I believe were typos or if not you missed it while proof-reading.
Writing style 10/10:
I like the way you brought out Myungsoo's and Sungjong's thoughts even though it was in third person POV. I could feel tha angst and I actually teared up while reading the conversation between Myungsoo and Sungjong in Chapter 9. Can I give more than the max mark for this section? XD
Characterisation 24/25:
Gawwd you're like getting full marks for every section! But I feel that you really deserve it :) For busy people like me who didfn't have time to read the prequel. I could still feel the bubbly personality of Julia, which played an important role in heightening the tension of the whole story as Sungjong kept to himself.
Story flow 9/10:
The story was carefully crafted to ensure that the reader doesn't feel that it was developing too slowly or too quickly. I like it that every chapter served a purpose and wasn't just a filler chapter. But still, I find that the fact that Myungsoo managed to confess his uality in 2 weeks a bit rushed? Usually people will stay in denial for quite a long time, and 2 weeks feel a bit abrupt, as if you were trying to end the story quickly.
Appearance 4/5:
Font size and type was good. Although it turned out a bit small on the mobile site, it was relatively okay :)
Total score: 91/100
IF THE WORLD BELIEVED YOU WICKED
Note: I did not finish reading the story, only up till chapter 5.
Title 2/5:
Sorry, but I had no idea how the title actually is related to the story.
Originality/Plot 16/25:
Plot is counted in here right? :3 Honestly, I saw a lot and a lot of fluff (?) in the first 5 chapters. It was a rather monotonous and boring fic to me (sorry I'm a bit harsh, given the severe lack of sleep that I have) and there wasn't really much of a plot. I know the author mentioned about one, but I couldn't find one in the first 5 chapters so yeah...
Mechanics 13/20:
As said by the author, there's quite a number of typo errors and mistakes here and there. There's also a bit of a native slang (?) 'cos there are some words that we don't use here in Singapore and I have no real idea what the word means, although I guessed from the context. e.g. lush
Writing style 7/10:
It was a rather descriptive writing style, which carefully narrated almost every small detail of what happened (which I think is called fluff), but not many on AFF are inclined to this writing style, because it made the story seem draggy.
Characterisation 18/25:
Having read only 5 chapters, I cannot accurately give a score on how well the characters have been developed throughout the story. The story was more on describing what happened, and there was not much that can be seen about the personalities of the characters.
Story flow 7/10:
The story was a bit too draggy. Instead of spending a whole chapter explaining what happened in detail, maybe lesser details and more plot?
Appearance 5/5:
Font type and size was good.
Total: 68/100
LEMON CANDY KISS
Title 5/5:
Matches with the story!
Originality/Plot 16/25:
I've read a lot, like really A LOT of fics; so long as Sungjong is inside, lemon candy will appear too. But I quite like this creative twist making Sungjong choose between lemon candy and Myungsoo, and Myungsoo's dorkiness is something new, compared to the usual clichéd cold, badboy demeanour.
Mechanics 10/20:
I'm sorry I'm just really strict about this. First thing first, I dont know if the story is supposed to be written in past or present tense, but why are the tenses not consistent? There was present and past tense in the same sentence, and worse it came out in the first paragraph of the story, which totally gave me a rather bad impression. Also, prepositions were wrong and there were a few weird phrasings.
The first paragraph: Myungsoo push the trolley according to Sungjong's direction. He just followed Sungjong's every single steps. Tonight, they are going to make Ddukbokki as dinner. He loves the feeling of cooking with his lover and can't stop smiling all the way.
Corrected version (I shall just use past tense): Myungsoo pushed the trolley in Sungjong's direction. He just followed Sungjong's every step. Tonight, they were going to make ddukbokki for dinner. He just loved the feeling of cooking with his lover and couldn't stop smiling all the way.
Writing style 9/10:
I quite liked the writing style since it brought out the cuteness and fluff of the story (why wasn't it nominated for fluff?!) But if instead of using their names, and descriptive phrases that could identify them were used, then I think the story would be much cuter.
Characterisation 21/25:
I could see how much Sungjong loves lemon candy and how hard Myungsoo was trying to make Sungjong love him more than lemon candy. But given that it was a one-shot, the characterisation of both of them would have been better if it was a two-shot. Then again, for a one-shot it was quite good.
Story flow 9/10:
All of this happened in one day, so I cannot say whether the story flow is fast or slow. All I can say is that the events were related and none of them seemed to be out of place or just abrupt.
Appearance 5/5:
Font type and size were good.
Total: 75/100
FOREVER ALONE ON CHRISTMAS
Title 4/5:
The story and the title were matching, but maybe a more eye-catching title would be nicer? The fact that this story was written during the Christmas period, a lot of other fics would be of almost the same title so the story wouldn't really stand out.
Originality/Plot 16/25:
I have read quite a number of fics that involve a couple spending a special occasion together, whether planned or unplanned. The fact that Myungsoo met Sungjong at the Han River, where it was rather crowded as mentioned, spotting a small and fragile boy sitting alone on a bench would be a bit unbelievable. Given the benefit of doubt, even so, approaching his crush, shouldn't Myungsoo be a bit nervous a least? Also, it doesn't really make sense that if Sungjong is not meeting anyone, that he would go to Han River. Given his age he would know that at such a time there would be a lot of couples at Han River, so why did he go there to antagonise himself? :3
Mechanics 9/20:
I'm really sorry I really had no choice. The grammar made my eyes bleed (not literally). It was rather atrocious. Tenses were not consistent in most of the story, spelling was wrong here and there.
First paragraph: Sungjong walked across the busy street, kicking small pebbles in the way. Today, he was alone again. He always is but today he felt extra lonely since it was a Christmas night and everyone went out to celebrate it. "The forever alone Lee Sungjong," he said and chuckled.
Corrected version: Sungjong walked across the busy street, kicking small pebbles in the way. Today, he was alone again. He has always been, but today he felt extra lonely since it was a Christmas night and everyone has gone out to celebrate it. "The forever alone Lee Sungjong." He said and chuckled.
Writing style 7/10:
I don't really have much against the writing style, but it just didn't really fit the storyline :3
Characterisation 18/25:
I could see the loneliness in Sungjong, and how caring and sweet Myungsoo was. But given that it was a oneshot, not much could really be seen.
Story flow 9/10:
The flow was good from the beginning, until the end, when suddenly it jumped to two months ago. Erm... Shouldn't that belong in front instead of at the back?
Appearance 5/5:
Font size and style was good.
Total: 68/100
STUCK WITH YOU
Note: I only read up to chapter 6, so my interpretation might not be correct. How is this story rated?! Except probably for that one chapter which I didn't read, there wasn't anything that was of mature content!
Title 4/5:
I'm guessing that the title is because Sungjong wants to resign and Myungsoo is not allowing it.
Originality/Plot 17/25:
I have come across quite a number of secretary-boss relationships but a one is an interesting twist. I like the way the reason of why ex-secretaries fell in love with Myungsoo and it totally makes sense! Then again, I didn't finish reading the whole story so there might be better things in store but the impression that this story gave me was rather good so far.
Mechanics 10/20:
Sorry I'm rather strict about this. Grammar, spellings and punctuation mistakes were rather rampant throughout the chapters. There where a few awkward phrasings here and there too.
Original: "Yaa...!! Hyung..Give me Secretary!! I can't handle this work by myself..". I yelled to my brother in the telephone. His name is Kim Sunggyu. He is a director in Japan Glorious Company.
Corrected: "Yah! Hyung... Give me a secretary! I can't handle all this work by myself!" I yelled to my brother through the telephone. His name is Kim Sunggyu. He's a director in Japan Glorious Company.
(Honestly, don't you think introducing Sunggyu here is a bit weird?)
Writing style 7/10:
I feel that the use of dialogue to bring out the story and personalities of the characters was good, but probably a bit more description on the surroundings would be good too.
Characterisation 16/25:
I couldn't really see how Myungsoo was a playboy, since the story didn't really bring out much of it. But Sungjong's innocence could be seen.
Story flow 6/10:
I feel that the story was rushed, because the author kept on throwing in events abruptly, which could actually take their time to develop so that the story is just at the right pace.
Appearance 5/5:
Font size and style was good.
Total: 65/100
LOVE'S EVIL TWIN
Title 3/5:
I like the title. It brought about a very dark atmosphere along with the poster. But still I don't understand how the title ties in with the story.
Originality/Plot 21/25:
The story of an abused party having to keep mum about being ually abused and soon later their lover finds out and the drama begins. BUT! I really really love the plot. There was an unexpected twist to the story when Sungjong actually "forgave" Woohyun and Sunggyu revealed that they were brothers. (I thought Gyu was going to another rival) I felt that the twist to the story really brought a ray of hope to the whole bleak situation and the ending made me so happy. It was an almost-happy ending, kind of bittersweet and I really really REALLY love the ending.
Mechanics 19/20:
There's no much that I can fault, whether it is grammar, spelling or punctuation. I believe those one or two errors were just typo mistakes. Vocabulary was varied too and language was really good.
Writing style 10/10:
I really really love the writing style. It brought out the emotions of every single character.
Characterisation 25/25:
The characters were well- developed. No complaints. I can't find any faults.
Story flow 10/10:
The first moment I started reading I was thrown into momentum of the whole story. I like the immediate immersion into the story and the flow afterwards was up to pace too; not too fast, yet also not draggy.
Appearance 5/5:
Font size and style was clear and best.
Total: 93/100
Extra:
OMG WHY WAS THIS FIC NOT NOMINATED FOR PLOT TWIST?! The plot twist was just ASDFGHJKL AWESOME!
Oh and also, in chapter 10, btw, cyanide has an almond-like taste. It's slightly bitter and yeah... I'm just saying, but yours is not entirely wrong either :)
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