Title) I think the title is okay. Except for... It's not that he's trapped in a stranger's body. He just doesn't like his own. I get that you want to make it look interesting by using a metaphor but honestly, it wasn't THAT appealing to me. The title's words should also be in capital letters. 7/10

 

Characters) I think you could have given more details on Daehyun's character. I know that Youngjae is the main character but Daehyun being a lead role should have been given more details. I think the difference between te main characters and the not-so-important ones were clear. 8/10

 

Grammar) I think grammar is the better part of your story. I have only found a couple of mistakes.

 

"'Get killed?' Don't you think he has a shot at dying of natural causes?"

I think that it should have been

 "'Get killed'? Don't you think he has a shot at dying of natural causes?"

 

" the rest of the world, I could stay with him like this for the rest of my life, and I would be the happiest person alive."

In my opinion, this is a run-on sentence. The second comma is also redundant

" the rest of the world. I could stay with him like this for the rest of my life and I would be the happiest person alive."

12/15

 

Flow) I think the story moves a little fast because of Daehyun's over-willingness to be Youngjae's secret lover. 4/5

 

Plot) I think the plot was unlike other gang themed stories. It revolved around how a person hates his body and wishes to be a girl instead of all the fights and everything. I like the hints of abuse and violence. The plot could have consisted of more interference within the initial stages of their relationship though. 8/10