i'm starting to think that.. I'll be forever alone.

Sure I have a very warm family and probably the best in the world, and I have the most awesome friends ever. But you know what I'm talking about.

I'm already 20 years old but I've never dated even once. Sound like a loser huh?

I've tried to make a change on myself, since quite a long time ago actually, both physically and mentally. I tried to make myself look prettier, slimmer, and I tried to be more outgoing and talk to guys, but it never seemed to work out. Maybe I'm just naturally unattractive.

Or perhaps, I'm trying too hard?

When my friends told me how they were hit on by guys and how they have some close guy friends (which I have none), I couldn't help but feel envious. I wish to have those kind of experience too. The ironic part is, my friends would ask advice from me about relationship problems. I would give some advice that I thought was quite good, but i never knew where those thoughts came from lol.

Or perhaps, all the pretty, hot and handsome kpop boys had brought up my expectations? 

Fanfics became my escape. I feel like these virtual relationships with oppars were enough to fulfill my needs, although I knew I'm actually avoiding the reality. 

I know I might sound desperate, but I feel like I need to let this out of my mind. It's been bothering me for a while. And I'm beginning to lose hope.

Advises?