I'm not sure if this is legit or what, but I am in my deepest sorrow right now. I feel what she feels. (I'm not anyone's ex or what, but yeah, I can feel her pain). It's hard giving up on someone just so he could reach his dreams, because that would mean losing yours. 

Today is your debut day (2011-12-29)

I just finished my work, so I decided to go to weibo and write some words for you.

Few hours ago your grandparents called me to inform that you were about to debut soon, and that you were very busy at the moment, they also told me not to worry. But neither of them knew we rarely kept in touch. After receiving their call, I feel so relieved, so I went to visit them. They cooked lots of delicious food for me, they said no matter how our relationship went, they still treated me as their granddaughter. Deep inside my heart, I don’t want to talk about you, I just want to take care of them for you, do all the work you should be doing. I understand, very clearly, that when you choose to be a singer, you can’t stay by their side. I will do everything I could, and try my best to take care of them and make them happy.

.

We’ve known each other for 6 years, and fallen in love for almost 3 years. I know I’m neither a beautiful girl nor an amazing person, but when we were together, I can feel your love for me. Up till now, I’ve been always thankful that I had the chance to meet you, to know you – a lovely and caring person. Despite the sad things in the past, all the memories between us were so beautiful, thinking about that time again, I have no regret. I remember when we were together, you pretended to be angry at me because I didn’t call you “darling”. Even though you acted like a spoiled child, you still adored, respected me and cared for me…



I don’t know why I’m writing this, just wanna bring up something to talk with you. I always tell myself to forget you so I can move on, slowly, starting a new life without you. But no matter how busy I am, or how I try hard to fill up my mind with work, I still miss you, wondering if you take care of yourself, if your stomach still hurts …



Did you remember that long time ago I showed you my future table plan ? Now I’m trying my best to do it. I’ll give myself 5 years to experience things, grow up and enhance my knowledge. My mother doesn’t want me to face difficulty, but my work is not that hard. I know I have lots of things to do, I have to stay strong. Whenever I miss you, I will log in to weibo to read your diary and all of the letters you wrote for me. Maybe you don’t love me anymore, or maybe what’s between us right now is more than love… No matter what, I will still treasure you and everything you did. I put all the songs you wrote for me in my ipod and listen to them, remembering every single line of them…

It’s just that I don’t want to tell you, I don’t want to be a burden to you, I’m just trying and trying to make you understand… You remember what I always told you, right ? That someday you will thank me for leaving you. 

Zhang Yixing ah, I hope that you are still doing well.

I'm pretty sure Yixing had seen this for himself and now I'm here, trying my best not to imagine things of him crying because I'm sick and tired of always seeing him pained.