Obsession, according to Wiktionary, is a "compulsive or irrational preoccupation" and "an unhealthy fixation." Merriam-Webster dictionary defines it as "a persistent disturbing preoccupation with an often unreasonable idea or feeling".

I should be glad that I am sane enough to look up the meaning of the word after watching an episode of Anderson. I somehow stumbled on that show at the exact time a childless couple was featured. They have this enormous collection of stuffed bunnies inside their house, along with four living rabbits. The eight who died are safely tucked in their refrigerator. She even collects dust bunnies, for some project I failed to understand. 

Although their behavior seemed disturbing to me, the guest psychologist confirmed that there is nothing with wrong with the couple hoarding hundreds of bunnies for the reason that their hobby does not cause them and other people harm. Apparently, they give tours to people who wants to see their collection.

So, just to check myself if I am obsessed with anything (perhaps, AFF) I asked myself questions that the doctor posed. Haha.

1. Does AFF keep me away from friends and family?

2. Does AFF disrupt my normal routine in order to stay healthy?

3. Does AFF cause me and other people harm?

Answers:

1. Writing is a secret that only three unnies know, and AFF is a major secret that no one IRL knows. It would be nice to share this part of me with others, but I am hesitant knowing it would be hard for them to understand. Offline, I spend time with friends and family. Online, instead of socializing in FB or texting friends, I go here to update, blog or stalk stories and blogs if I don't have story updates to read. But I still have a life at the institute and at church. I do spend time with my family, especially weekends when my sister is not at the hotel. So, yes and no.

2. Lol. I eat when I'm hungry. I sleep when I am sleepy. I even exercise 30 mins in the morning. No.

3. I learned to compartmentalize my life. What happens in AFF, stays in AFF. I don't think me going here would cause them harm. No.

Hmmm. Glad I did this Q&A thing. It gives me a different perspective of how I am living my life. See, if I am not here, my mind wanders to my stories here and in doing so, more plot bunnies awaken. Perhaps, I should not put AFF in the questions but 'writing'. 

Then again, I have a fic that I haven't updated in years and I could go on for weeks or a month, without writing any update, like how I could last months without making a poster or picking up my crochet hook. I have lots of different hobbies.

Still, I can't hide the fact that I have lots of stories inside my head. It's madness. And I don't want to cross the line. 

Reading, is another hobby. But I hardly get updates here. Although I am catching up with the ebooks I downloaded now, I have spent weeks not reading any book. I must admit though that I see the characters and the scenes come to life in my head and I badly wanted to crawl inside my e-reader to live an adventure. Many times I wished to live a life other than my own. Hehe. That thought scares me.

I can safely say that I am not anime-obsessed because I can go on for months without watching any episode.

Same with kpop. I hardly update myself with kpop entertainment news that I often wonder if I can still be called a fan. I haven't bought any merchandise since forever and I no longer listen to their songs since the half of last year OTL The only sign I might be a fan is that I am still here in AFF, but the reason mainly leans towards my unfinished fics and friends.

See, I am more interested in fictional people. Haha! The main reason why I still don't have a boyfriend according to my unnies... And my dad when he caught me and my sister complimenting one anime character. My sister said, "Papa-ble" (Filipinos would understand.)

Perhaps, when I return to the institute tomorrow my life would find its balance. I was gone for six days, almost a week, because of the holiday. Yep, the Holy Week. So I am more prone to reflect on things. The melancholic that I am. And the fact that another author left AFF because she is tired of writing fantasies that won't come true.

I don't have that fear of falling into that trap simply because I don't or won't write about my bias. And my bias has gone M.I.A that I don't know if I still like him or not. Haha.

While it is okay to write or live your fangirl fantasies in the stories you write, always keep your head and heart in the right place. No switching of places. Stories will always be stories, no matter how real they may seem. I don't want you to wake up one day with a broken heart, realizing that you and oppa could never be together.

Your prince is somewhere out there. He may not be oppa, but he is the one perfect for you. The one God made for you. Be patient. Never rush into things or you'll end up getting bruised.

-Keeper

(Oh, Happy April Fools, if you celebrate it :) )