So today is Easter...  HAPPY EASTER!!!! :D But today I realized something.. My parents and my sister and broher hardly know anything about me.  Honestly.  Im pretty sure my kpop family knows me better than they do.  Today I got an easter basket from my parents, and in it, it had chocolate, some jelly beans, a dolphin key chain and some chocolate covered caramel eggs.  And don't get me wrong, I am so grateful for it.  Then my sister said that hers was the one with the dark chocolate in it because I didn't like dark chocolate.  In my mind I was like "and this happened when exactly?" but I just said "Oh I do like dark chocolate but I like milk chocolate too :)"  then she said that my mom told her that I didn't like dark chocolate.  I was so confused.  I could not remember when I ever stated or acted like I didn't like dark chocolate.  Im fine with any chocolate but... I was so confused.  And recently my mom got me this dress just out of the blue because she said "well I bought both your sister and brother something so I got you this" .  I thought she would have known that I didn't care if they got something and I didn't.  I thought she would have known that I don't like gifts or people giving me stuff.  I just don't understand how much she doesnt know me.  I don't get where our relationship went wrong.  i love her and I spend a lot of time with her.  So i don't understand what I did wrong?  I know what she likes.  I understand her.  I just don't get it.  Maybe I'm asking too much of her to know everything I like and don't like.  But it makes me sad.

Then my dad.  I just feel so hurt by him.  I always try to help and I want to make things easier for him.  But we have been packing up stuff in our house and getting ready to move recently.  There are many reasons why I don't want to move so I'm not too thrilled about it.  I hate it actually.  But what I hate the most is the changes that we are making just to sell our house.  I hardly have any room for anything, there is almost nothing in my room, we are painting everything and we are moving a lot of stuff around.  I hate it so much to the point of crying.  I hate my home now.  I dont want to come home anymore and I am happy when I have work or something to do after school so I don't have to go home.  I just hate it so much.  I know I am being selfish, but I just can't help myself when I don't want to help them move stuff or pack up stuff.  I know I am just stressing them out more but I just automatically get mad when they ask me to do something to help them.  But whenever that happens and I don't want to help them, my dad gets mad and says that I am lazy, that I don't do , and I am a spoiled little brat because I hardly have to do any work and I don't want to do work.  It hurts me so bad to think that he thinks that of me.  Because even if it is said in the heat of anger, there is some part of him that believes that.  And it hurts me so bad.  I try to help so much, but I just can't help getting mad.  I try so hard to tell myself to calm down and just grin and bear it but it never works.  I guess im just being too selfish but it hurts so much.  I just want them to understand me.  I don't need any fancy gifts or expensive things.  i just want understanding. 

Everytime I get mad, my parents get mad back and say awful things but after some time they come in expecting me to be nice and everything.  How can they say those things and expect me not to be hurt by them?  And if they punish me for doing something they feel bad so then my mom buys me something or gets me something or takes me shopping.  It's like they are trying to bribe me to forgive them.  i don't want anything.  I really dont.  I just want to be able to hang out with my friends, have time to do my homework, and not move.  But i guess they don't understand me.  Only you guys do.  Only my friends do.  Maybe for people I'm not close with, I'm just hard to understand.  I'm sorry if I sound like a whiny but I just need someone to rant to, because it's easier to rant to you guys than to my parents or my sister or my friends.  Because I'm afraid they will get annoyed by me and I don't want to make their day unhappy.  Or i'm just simply afraid they won't care.