Growth is natural. But in some aspects in our lives, growth needs to be intentional.

Our youth pastor shared a part of John C. Maxwell's book, The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth. And what I like about his preaching is his examples. They were always related to writing so I was like OTL for most of the time. I forgot that pastor has a bachelors degree in Communication Arts like my sister. LOL. 

I don't want to be the only one having OTL moments. So I am sharing it with you. Hahaha! 

Let me try the first sentences in my own words. This is how I understood it: Physical growth is natural. But emotional, mental and spiritual growth should be intentional. Just because we gained another year on our birthdays, doesn't mean we have grown or matured. It is not automatic. 

The following are the Growth Gap Traps in Maxwell's book. I will try to explain each point from what I received from my pastor since I haven't read it yet. I will also add my own comments (haha).

1. The Assumption Gap - "I assume that I will automatically grow."

Unless we work on improving all aspects of our lives to continue its growth, we remain stunted emotionally, mentally and spiritually. 

We can't assume that we will become published one day because that is the course of things. We must first learn how to write, develop our unique style and continuously improve. Our novels won't write themselves on their own. We have to work it. Work ett. 

2. The Knowledge Gap - "I don't know how to grow."

Search it on Google. Seriously, pastor said that. Great minds think alike after all. Google is our what? Our bestfriend. Information is available at the tips of our fingers. With one click, we have access to everything we need to know. 

You want to become a published author but you don't know how. Study the basics or fundamentals in writing. Unleash creativity. Know the tricks of the trade. Most importantly, know your market ^_~ 

I have blogged about this market countless of times. My sister said it quite simply. "We cannot write for everyone. That is why there are teen magazine writers, women magazine writers, etc. We lose sincerity when we attempt to write for everyone."

Sincerity? O.o? Anyways, know your target audience. 

3. The Timing Gap - "It is not the right time to begin."

The law of diminishing intent. The longer we put things on hold, it is highly likely we'll never do it. (Haha, this is my major OTL moment.). So just do it. Remember, growth is intentional.

Just write. Day or night, weekdays or weekends. Starting is usually the hardest. So just get that out of the way and write. 

4. The Mistake Gap - "I am afraid of making mistakes."

This and number 5 are related. Of course, we will make mistakes. Don't be scared. Because we also learn from these mistakes. At least we know what not to do again. Thomas Alva Edison made lots of mistakes before he finally invented the light bulb. Not only does he know how to make it, he knows a lot of other ways how not to make it work. We grow from our mistakes.

5. The Perfection Gap - "I have to find the best way before I start."

We can never really say what works best when we don't try it first. I am like this when I was a student. I want my first answer in my assignments to be the right or best answer. Of course, I do research, so finding out the best way before starting works for me.

But not with my pastor years ago. He, on the other hand, wants the first sentence of his composition to be perfect; that he ends up editing and editing that first sentence, until eventually, he deletes the whole sentence.

I kinda laughed at that. Although I also like the first sentence in every story or chapter to be an eye catcher, I also know to just write and edit later. Then edit some more. Thanks to editing coach Daphne Gray-Grant. Editing while writing breeds frustration. This is one of the reasons why we can't seem to finish or nail down a chapter or story.

6. The Inspiration Gap - "I don't feel like doing it."

The feels. We have lots of these here in AFF. Artists are melancholics (temperament). So we can't help but be in tune with our emotions. I almost doubled over in laughter when my pastor demonstrated his example. Like most of us here, it is imperative that he finds the song that would match the mood he is aiming for in his writing. But what if we can't find the song? The perfect ambiance? Our muse?

Just do it. Type out a few words, eventually they will form a sentence. Sentences into paragraphs. Before you know it, you have written three thousand words. I rarely have the perfect ambiance when writing. Oftentimes, I do it inside a moving bus, in the waiting shed or in the pantry during lunch. Noise is always with me. Even inside my room. I share it with my sis. But if I had let this lack of perfect ambiance control me and my mood, my subbies would forever be waiting for updates.

(Well they kinda are. I need to update 11 fics, most of them, I need to revive. I already lost bunnies. I will just catch me some more.)

7. The Comparison Gap - "Others are better than I am."

Hohoho. AFFers are guilty of this. Including Keeper. We are discouraged when we read others' stories which are way better than ours. We feel like we can never be like them, let alone surpass them, so why even bother trying?

Wrong. Hey, we are created unique :) We do things differently. Our styles and voices are different. Why bother comparing things that are different in the first place?

Off topic: It is okay to copy or imitate the style of other writers if you have none at the moment. Because in the process of learning another person's style, you somehow find your own ^-^ (Daphne Grey Grant shared something like this in one of her blogs. My other pastor also said the same thing, but his style has something to do with fashion.)

8. The Expectation Gap - "I thought it would be easier than this."

Life is never easy. Expect that. Things would never turn out the way we planned it to be. Expect that.

Writing is harder than reading. If it were that easy, all of us has published our own novels.

Do you know why it is hard? Why we have to undergo process before we learn to master one skill? Because the most difficult things to accomplish in life are the ones that would lead us to our dreams, our destiny.

Notice that it is essier to watch a movie, than write your thesis. It is the things that are related to our destiny that meet the most resistance.

So what do we now that we have identified all these growth gap traps hindering us from reaching our full potential?

1. Ask the big questions now - the WHY questions; "Why am I doing this?" or "Why am I here?" or "What am I supposed to do with my uber awesome life?"

2. Just do it - wahaha! I abused this sentence in this blog. Take baby steps first and we'll get the hang of it.

3. Face your fears - Aja! Ask God or Allah for courage. Perfect love casts away all fears. God is love. Also, finding a place that has pure acceptance and love without agenda can nurture our growth, just like how a seed needs good soil for it to grow into a tree.

4. Be intentional - It is not by accident. We have to aim our target :) Our target, our dreams.

Our dreams are given to us by the great Dream Giver, our God, Allah. He put those dreams inside of us not by accident. For we alone can fulfill those dreams. Each of us has a part to fulfill in this world, a purpose. So don't neglect those dreams ^_~

-dream_keeper88