Re-Remembering

Story by: Ajitofu

Reviewed by: TheDividingTree

Title [4/5]

This is an interesting title. It conveys your plot, but doesn’t give away too much (I wouldn’t have guessed that she would actually be sent to the past to ‘re-remember’ everything). I also liked how the page was called “Time Series.” The only thing is that I probably wouldn’t click on it if I passed by it while browsing through AFF (if it were on AFF) because characters wallowing in past events isn’t really something I usually enjoy reading. Usually.

Visual Appearance [5/5]

Your font is the same throughout and easy to read, and your blog is organized.

Plot/Storyline [19/20]

I sort of hate you because I read this the day before I had an assignment due, thinking “I’ll just read a few chapters,” but then I ended up reading it for two hours and also accidentally read some of your other works. Not very nice. I joke. Anyways, the point of that rant is that, even though your plot doesn’t seem to stand out very much to me, it captivated me. It was very believable—a story of fantasy while staying realistic—and made complete sense. The only thing is that I feel the shaman was introduced into the plot a bit too suddenly. Maybe you could mention something about Sunkyu’s mother earlier on to hint at it? But other than that, well done.

Characters [20/20]

I tried. I tried to find places to take marks off but I couldn’t really find any legitimate reason to take them off. Each character is developed nicely, and they’re not at all three-dimensional. I have a category here for originality, but, even if I’ve seen characters like this in other fics before, I can’t really call your characters clichéd because they feel real, and that’s all that matters.

Flow [8/10]

This moved very well, and it was very understandable. If it were on AFF, I would suggest for you to put multiple chapters together since your chapters were quite short, but it’s on a blog so it makes sense. However, I think that the beginning of the last chapter was a bit rushed. Probably because Tiffany didn’t seem like the type of character to suddenly rush because a thought strikes her. From past moments, we get the feeling that she’s one to let her thoughts carry her as she wanders around, so her dash seemed a bit unfitting (I realized this probably should’ve been in the characters section so I didn’t take marks off for this in that section).

Writing [23/25]

Your word choice and style were absolutely wonderful. I’m really picky about the amount of description—you know, when people constantly follow each line of dialogue with a speaking verb and it starts to get really repetitive—but you had a nice balance, which I find hard to come across. I also think you have the “show, don’t tell” concept down pretty well.

The only problems I had were your commas and EM dashes (and occasional tense mix-ups since going back in time is pretty confusing). Sometimes, there were commas in places where you could have left them out. For example:

She runs out, into the living room, and stares at today’s paper.

There is actually nothing wrong with that sentence because you could put commas there, but I think it would be better to leave commas out of small sentences so that the flow isn’t disturbed.

And about EM dashes. When you use and EM dash—like this—there are no spaces on either side of the EM dash. However, I do commend you for your usage of them, since I haven’t really encountered many people using them here.

Oh, also, I saw you use “Tiffany-ah”. Although that looks right in English, Tiffany in Korean is 티파니 (Ti-Pa-Ni), which ends in a vowel. When words in Korean end in a vowel, they add the ending “-yah” in the imperative (“-ah” is for consonant endings).

Personal enjoyment/Bonus [13+3/15]

I put five more points in this section because because there was no foreword or description. I find it quite hard to find a Taeny fanfiction written well like this, and I’m glad that I was able to review this. I’ll probably be reading things from your blog every now and then.

Bonus: Because I said so. Well, firstly, I had Tim-Tams this morning. I also haven’t read a Taeny fic written like this in a while. I also loved your ending because it was one of those endings that give you that feeling… I don’t really know how to describe it but I hope you’ve read fics that have given you that feeling before. It’s a really nice one.

Total: [95/100]

Sorry this took so long, and thank you for the wonderful fic (: I would recommend putting this on AFF, but that’s okay since you probably have a reason to keep it on your blog, seeing that you already post stories on AFF.