Honestly, I hate PMS.

I am currently craving everything that is edible only to have me feel guilty for having eaten all that the moment I finish the food. And the fact that my emotional state is worse than the damnest roller-coaster in the world is the second thing I despise about PMS. My mood keeps swinging from utterly satisfied with my life to thinking that I am a failure every so often. I just spent half an hour crying over a fanfiction that I had read a month ago! And the story was supposed to be cute instead of tear-inducing. 

It is insane this PMS thing! Mother nature should have a more effective way of telling me I'm not pregnant, sending a small post-it note with "Congrats, no baby on the way" every month will be more than enough than letting every cis female on earth bleed their uteruses out for five to seven days each month. That is quite barbaric!

On the very different note, I am quite stuck with my story atm. I know where I am going to end it but I don't know how to bring each and every character to that end point and stay plausible at the same time. Even now I think my story is too over the top to make it believable. I feel like a total failure, honest. 

I am conflicted on how I should proceed with the story - I mean, I really have no clue on how fast the pace of my story should be so that I won't bore anyone. Personally, I love details and I know that I will write every single detail I can weave and include into the story but some people hate slow-paced story. I know that I keep saying about writing for myself and I don't care if no one will ever read my story yada yada yada; this is usually true when I am in my normal state. PMS makes me extra emotional and during this time I really crave people's approval (Yeah, I know, I sound childish for a 29 yo). 

Currently I have written three versions of my next chapter. The first one was set immediately the next day after the date that ended with the call from Chang Joo; the second one moved a bit farther to the next couple of days with some amount of Spartace, and the last one was a week after the call without any prior explanation on how it got there. Continuation-wise, I prefer my second version to the other two - but people always want progress and therefore the third version will suit their wants better. Ah, this is crazy - I never thought so much about what I want to write before. Why am I investing so much in this fandom that I only found accidentally?

Maybe I should consider a long hiatus until I have made my mind and written more buffer chapters.