i went online to see daehyun posted what i have always wanted to say, so yeah.
i continued, and suzy did too. anyways.
i decided to put it in a blog form so that everyone
(or whoever that comes online) will get to see this,
because once it's at the chat, it'll be gone really soon. so yeah.
my rant on the chat was much shorter, because initially i didn't want to say who i am,
but i guess it's really no use.
everyone's gotta let their heart out at one point or another.
and i'm pretty sure daehyun and suzy wrote this from their hearts too..
so.. orz.
read if you want to.
i wrote  this listening to 'I Won't Give Up by Jason Mraz.'

                               no one dumps touslesjours. not for a new roleplay, and not for personal reasons. people miss each other. but everyone's busy with themselves now. no touslesjours inside jokes, and the only time this place is active is when everyone has nothing to do. what happened to those people who were 'regulars' who appeared within a certain period of time? i have no idea why everyone reduced themselves to shortforms instead of writing in full. maybe they don't bother anymore. don't you remember how fast the chat was moving, to the point when no one could catch up? that was the touslesjours spirit. why was touslesjours created? to become a dead town like this? i don't think so. and don't forget the family tree we had. tell me - is there even a quarter of them left? everyone used to be so active. and we could easily have more than 15 people online. i don't know what happened, but i don't think i want to know. people change for a reason. - TLJ Daehyun.

                              even if dae says this, the only people that will see this are probs people like mary, arisun, maria, donna, natalya. doubt this post will stay here long enough for other people to even see this. but yeah, adding on to what he said, i missed it when nothing else mattered but this family. i mean, of course. we were, we are and will always be one family no matter what. but yeah..wishing people would appreciate it more than what it has been now. even like veonna, leah and candle, even if they were busy, with probably rl or other rp stuff, at least they kinda drop by once in awhile. like..even if it was once a week, at least it's still something. but the usual people that were online..some dont even come back after a month. let's not point fingers but everyone knows its true. to those who claim to be busy, don't you even have that one second of your life to click on this link and drop by a message? like bekah, she's super busy but she pops in once in awhile to say hi before her exams and school. even if it wasn't everyday, at least she did.  
                             i really love this place. maybe some people have lesser special reasons, some people have more, or maybe some even has reasons as special as mine. tlj was a place that to me, not only friendship was formed. you guys know to me, friendship was repaired. everytime i think about a fallout i once had, i feel relieved that it was back to normal. no, it wasn't back to normal. actually it became more special. from just best friends like it was before, it became so much a sibling like relationship. and no i'm not afraid to say that it was all thanks to TLJ.
                             next was the time i had my mental breakdown. i was really on the verge of giving up at that moment. i wouldn't eat, i wouldn't sleep, but at least i drove myself to come online the chat, to talk to the people i love. do you guys even realize how much difference that made to me? you guys always pushed me to work harder, and yeah at that point of time especially bekah and aya. they were always there for me, telling me not to give up. and because of that, my end year major exams, i improved by 7 grades up. sure that still wasn't good a mark for my standard but at least it was still a big difference.  this was the spirit TLJ used to have. what happens if something like this comes again? maybe yeah, some people here have their own families and friends to go to but really i have limited. the moment i go back to reality, i break even more. nowadays when i feel like breaking, the first thing i do is go onto TLJ chat, hoping that someone will be there. not to comfort me, but just, someone to be there. i think i'm not the only one who does this but..
                            i was one of the first to be there when baek talked about closing the rp, i felt really sad that i didn't know what to say. but in the end i wasn't at all THAT worried, because i knew that no matter what, the chat will always be alive. it really was though, even after it closed. even after 2013, it still was.. it's just that lately.. idk. i really wish that this rp could be alive again. and yes, when i said this rp, i meant touslesjours. not, any remake or reopen of this rp. <- okay that wasn't a demand, but if you don't get my point, nevermind. otl. but yeah, i would rather tlj be forever closed than seeing another remake. just in my opinion though.
                            yeah. sure, we don't expect TLJ to be alive for the rest of our lives.. but why did everything suddenly disappear? it was like the day before, everyone was here, supporting each other, and all. but then the next day, nearly everyone is no where to be seen. obviously i know everyone has their own life to deal with.. this.. whatever i written, was never to reprimand.. or rant, or offend.. i just really wanted to say what i wanted to say. maybe half of the things i say might be wrong, so yeah.. i'm really sorry. we're all humans anyways. argh. well i shall not continue because this is already long . but yeah, this wasn't meant to offend anyone (or was it?) just saying what i'm feeling. and the names i mentioned, sorry if i missed out anyone. don't be so sensitive and feel offended. lol. i wanna say this is from an anonymous, but then again..who else drops by here anymore? i love you all, tlj family. always will. – TLJ Sandeul.

ps: i was reaaaaaaaaaaaaally tempted to mention some other names but. heh. imma be a good kid and shut up.

                             seems like what i came here to say has already been said by dae and that anon orz. but adding on to what they said, i missed when i could come on to this chat and it was never dead. ever. even if it was like 3 in the morning for me, at least 1 person out of all of us would be here. remember the time we had so many people online, it was easy to get lost? remember those fun games we used to have here? remember the trolls, no matter how annoying? remember remember when some of us even joined other rps together but still talked about tlj with such pride? remember the good and bad times we had? well, do you? it makes me cry thinking about all this. tlj was a rp everyone was proud and happy about being a part of, and i don't think it was meant to end up almost dead like this. why, when i first joined, i felt extremely welcomed. as soon as you arrived, you would be accepted into the tlj family, without being judged whatsoever. not saying that other rps aren't like this, but tlj is special. but i'm happy people still come here, whether it's daily, or even once a week, i think the thought still counts. i won't take any names, but some people earlier used to claim tlj was the most special rp to them, yet they've abandoned it completely. was that all lies then? being busy is not much of an excuse if you have time for other rps but don't have even a second to just come by here, maybe even just to say a hi? at least that would show you still care. some say things happen for one's own good. is tlj dying for our own good? i'm not sure. i can't predict anything. this is long enough already, but either way, people like mary, maria, alison, nat, nana, veonna, candice, trevor, bekah (i'm missing somone out, aren't i?), thank you for coming here, whenever you do come. thank you for keeping tlj alive, even it is a little bit. tlj used to, does, and will always have a special place in my heart. i will forever love the tlj family, no matter what. well here. i've missed out something. if it wasn't for some certain people, we would never have our tlj family, & we would've never been brought together like this. thank you to that juniel, and our aya, for creating touslesjours. thank you so much. – TLJ Suzy.