As a romance writer you’d think I’d have fallen in love many times and experienced all there is to it..

I frankly don’t think I’ve ever felt that “light hearted” “skip a beat” thing in my entire life. Crushes yeah plenty but love!

But recently I think I have but I’m not so happy about it..

First of all he is younger than me. I feel weird by this

Second of all he has no idea that I might actually like him

I know he kind of likes me but we all are friends here so he can’t hate me! He is actually my friend’s younger brother whom I grew up with living in the same neighborhood and all !!!!!!!!!

We tease each other we play with each other but I can’t help but feel weird or hmmm anxious whenever I know I’ll see him.

The reason why I’m so worked up by this idea of love lately is because everyone around me is basically hooked. I’m very close to my brother who is so madly in love that I envy him a bit.

He said “when you fall in love you don’t even realize it until later on, it’s weird”

Is this what I’m feeling for this dude! I’ve known him my entire life and saw him as a brother/ friend when suddenly he looks like a man to me! I even feel shy around him when I played football with him as kids! SO FREAKING CONFUSING AND IRITATING