My family has lots of economic problems, and my mom said me two days ago that me and my brother must find a job as soon as possible, and that my dad will probably go abroad for work, and she was so sad that she cried. They love each other like hell. 

I was so down that i drunk the first thing i found in the fridge, white wine and red martini. 

So pitiful. 

The fact is that i've neven been drunk before. Ok, i wasn't really drunk, but it was good like hell. I've not dined, i wasn't hungry, i've only slept. And i've done this yesterday as well. 

I feel so bad, i've done this only to avoid thinking. 

I'm insane.