This is my story of how I met and fell in love with Adam

You don't have to read it if you don't want to

I totally understand that

Heck, I don't even want to read it and I'm writting it

But if you have a few minutes to spare and want to read about what a b***h I am

then keep on reading

I met Adam about four or five years ago. I was in grade 10 and he was in grade 11. I knew Adam before we were friends. He lived just a few streets down from me for eight years. Adam was the boy that mothers warn their daughters to sta away from. At the tender age of 17 Adam already had a bunch of tattoos, a growing collection of peircings and a long list of dangerous friends. I remember the first day I talked to him; my friends and I were standing at the back of the school during lunch break when suddenly this well known Mark comes up to my friend and starts making fun of her because of the colour of her skin. Well, I don't like racisim in the least bit so I started yelling at Mark, telling him to go away. When Mark started threatening me that was when Adam appeared. He told Mark to back off and to leave us alone. He said "That chick is my neighbour, back off." I was a little shocked that he knew we lived near each other, I thought I was the only one to notice. I thought I was invisible to him; apprently not. After that we just started talking to each other more and more. Eventually one day he left his friends on the city bus and came to sit with me since I was alone. I could feel everyone staring at me since I was not the kind of person to be hanging out with people like Adam. But he was different. He wasn't a bad person. We really didn't consider each other friends for almost a year of talking to each other. I knew we were friends when he asked me for my cell phone number and put it in the special folder with his favourite people. It was around then that I started to get some feelings for him. Once again I am not really sure when the feelings began to change, but all I knew was that when ever Adam didn't go to school, I felt empty.

I was diagnosed with cancer around the end of high school. I missed my graduation because of it and I missed my prom. Going to prom wasn't a big deal for me, but when i found out that Adam went with one of my friends, it was life changing. This was the same friend who was getting bullied by Mark. Before I knew it, they were dating. I hated myself for having cancer and missing prom. I could have been his girlfriend. It could have been me. But it wasn't. I was the sickly girl missing almost every day of class. I didn't know how to tell Adam that I had cancer, we were close enough to each other to drop by the others house unannounced, but I didn't know if we were close enough for that. I ended up writing him a note and giving it to him while he and his bandmates went on a little road trip to Toronto. Clearly he was pissed since I got numerous calls and text from him. I didn't reply to any of them. By now I was in my first year of university, still batteling cancer. I wasn't going to let it win and I sure as hell wasn't going to let it keep me from getting an education. When Adam came back from his road trip he visited me in the hospital. I was asleep at the time but he stayed by my bedside for five hours until I woke up. When I did finally wake up, I didn't even get a word out before he started yelling at me. The evil nurse came into my room and told him to leave because he was making a scene. At the same time we both told her to "SHUT THE HELL UP!" Needless to say she left to go get the head doctor so Adam had little time to say what he wanted. But he didn't say anything. He just kissed me. IT CAME OUT OF NO WHERE. He was still dating my friend at the time and I had no idea what to do. I couldn't betray my friend, but I had wanted to kiss Adam for so long. I told him to leave because otherwise he would get int trouble.

He would visit me almost every week just to see how I was doing. Once in a while he would even take me to my treatments when my parents couldn't make it. My brother hates Adam. He feels that Adam is just a loser trying to be a teenager for as long as possible. Some of that is true. Who wants to grow up faster than they need to? Finally almost three months after our strange kiss, Adam told me he broke up with his girlfriend/my friend. I didn't know what to say so I just told him I was sorry. After that he stopped visiting me for a while. I wont lie, I was pissed. I was mad that he would tell me that and then not show up anymore. Was he still just seeing me as a friend? Was I the only one with romantic feelings. I wanted to move on from Adam if he wasn't going to like me back. I never believed in liking someone one-sided. One day while I was at school I bumped into some old class mates of mine from high school. I was a little worried to see them since I looked so different now. My hair was thinning out and falling out, my skin was all gross and pastey and I talked very little since I looked and acted like a zombie most of the time. One of the people I was talking to was one of Marks friends and was a thick skulled hockey player with a good smile and a terrible personality. He started going on and on about how I looked and how sickly I must have been. People just laughed along with him, all too afraid to be on his bad side. But then he started talking about my family. How it was weird to see a mixed family. And then he asked me 'What is it like to be a Nazi?" because apprently having German heritage automatically makes you a crazy, jew-hating Nazi.

Once again the people we were with just laughed and I pretended to think it was sort of funny. Adam didn't think it was funny. I didn't know when he joined the group or if he had been there the whole time. All I know is the next thing I see is Adam's fist connecting with this poor boys face. The six foot giant came tumbling down onto the cafeteria floor and I have to admit, I did laugh. Adam dragged me out of there and apologised for what his friend had said. I told him it was fine and that I've gotten use to it. Which I have. You learn to let things roll off your back when people, like your third grade teacher, makes racist remarks against you. Then Adam had said the sentence I had been waiting to hear for four years. "I can't believe I let them treat my girlfriend like that." I was his girlfriend. I mean he never really asked me, but he considered me his girlfriend. After that we never left each others side. For a few months we were in bliss. But then things started changing. My second year of university was starting and Adam's band was getting more popular. With the inclusion of my cancer, we had very little time together. I had to drop out of school because the treatments didn't seem to be working anymore and the surgeries were taking longer and longer to heal. When I found out he missed a huge gig just to be in the waiting room for one of my surgeries....I knew something had to change. My future was written in stone. I was forever going to be the sick girl that either lived to tell her tale, or die a painful, lonely death. Adam had so much going for him. He was so talented and so kind that there was no way that I could keep him trapped anylonger.

It was just a normal day in the hospital room after one of my treatments and my mind was racing a mile a minute. Adam was laying in the other hospital bed since the elderly lady who was in it before, saddly passed away. I couldn't let him continue wasting his life away in this hospital, waiting for me to get better. Finally I had to tell him that it was over. I lied through my teeth with every word I said to him. I said that I didn't like him anymore. That he was boring. And that I liked the risk taker Adam better. It was true. None of it was. I didn't like the Adam who walked on the guard railing of bridges to try and impress me. I liked the Adam who talked about life like it was no big deal. I liked the Adam that wasn't afraid to say what was on his mind. But I liked him too much. I had to break up with him and that is exactly what I did. We broke up. We were no longer dating and we were no longer friends. I told him to stay out of my life because he was only making things worse. And even though he had known me for years, he believed every word I said. When he left I cried for two days. He was my first love and possibly my last. I was the one to break his heart and in the process I broke my own. I don't know what Adam did in the months between us breaking up and us meeting up again. No one really every heard from him again. He went on soul shattering mission around Ontario to try and drink as much as possible and meet as many people as possible. I fell into depression and I like to think that he did a little too. When I had my last surgery to get rid of the cancer from my lungs, I could feel that something was different. It's hard to discribe. Do you know that feeling that after having a cold that you just feel a million times better. It's like I could breath again for the first time in years. And the first thing that came on my mind was Adam. He was the first person I wanted to tell. He was the person I wanted to celebrate with, but he was somewhere out there, having the time of his life. A few days after I was released I decided to call Adam after getting support from readers like you.

He sounded different. He sounded aged. He sounded like he had seen the world and didn't like what he saw. I asked him if he wanted to meet up for old times sake and for some unknown reason he said yes. When we met up at the coffee shop, I felt like a total idiot. I knew Adam hated places like this where the hipster ruled, but this was the first place that popped into my head at the time. I spotted him the second he stepped out of his old beat up car. He had shaved his long hair and had seemed to have added a few more tattoos. But he looked good. Really good. He walked into the coffee shop and spot me faster than I thought he would. We sat down and for a few minutes of awkward chit chat, we decided to talk about why we were really there. Both of us wanted to start our friendship over. I still love him. I love him so deeply that I am willing to just be friends with him if that is what it takes to be in his life again. Adam then offered to drive me home and although I know that my brother had already planned to pick me up, I wanted to spend as much time with Adam as possible. I called m brother while I was hiding in the bathroom and told him I got a ride with Adam. Clearly he was angry but I didn't give him much time to say anything as I rushed off into Adam's car. We were maybe two minutes away from our neighbourhood when a car came speeding through a red light. It hit the back of the car on my side. I cracked my head off the window and got a few cuts and bruises from the impact of being slammed against the car door. Adam was hurt less as he only got a little bit of whip lash. I was in the hospital again before I really wanted to but this time Adam was in the bed beside me agian. My brother came storming into the hospital room ready to kill Adam. I mean it seriously. If the doctors weren't in the room I might have a murderer for an older brother. When I was released my brother forbid me from seeing Adam again. And I haven't seen him since. Adam has gone on tour with his band and I am stuck here, wondering what to do with my life. I will be starting school in the fall again but this time in college. I texted Adam when I got accepted, but I haven't heard anything since. Maybe Adam and I just aren't suppose to work out. I'm way too white bread for him. He's artists and rebelious. I'm quiet and painfully awkward. I think our meeting was just a freak accident. And that was how I met and fell in love with Adam, the perfect guy who is just too perfect for me.