So guys.. I will be active again, because do you know that i almost lose interest in asianfanfics and even in kpop because i realized that i'm really falling in love; not with a kpop artist but just an ordinary person. Do you even know how my minds are being in turbulent in thinking too much if he's even interested in me. i don't know, but I don't want to expect too much because I might be hurt. And I don't want that to happen.

                                          First of all, I started liking him when I always caught him looking at me. He became a student teacher in the 4th year department for two days. The chosen student teacher's are the one who belongs in the higher group of section or a president. He came from the section 3, named IV-St. Benedict. That's his section. He is a CAT officer. Actually he is the leader of CAT. The head of CAT. CAT means Citizen Army Training. They're the one who are holding the flag of our country in our school when we're ssinging it. I came from the Philippines and it looks like this:

That's why he is chosen. The subject is Economics and our topic that time I think is Macroeconomics. One of my classmate who is also part of the CAT is being teased that she have a crush on that guy. Let's name him PATRICK! When he enters our room, the squeling voice of my classmates covered the whole room because of the girl being teased with PATRICK. Let's name her DENISE. She is fat, but she is intellligent. We belong in the section 6.. IV-St. Matthew. The 4th year all in all have 19 sections. I'm just sharing..HAHAH. 

                                           Then his teaching starts. When he is standing in front, I'm observing him and wondering why is DENISE so obssesed with him. He is not even HANDSOME. He doesn't have any good looks in his face. Cause you know he is quite chubby with glasses in his face. He is tall but with a filipino color skin. Tall dark and HANDSOME?!?! But while he is teaching, of course ourr attention is on him.. I always caught him looking at me. I don't know why he is looking at me? I also checked if he's just looking at the person seated next to me or at my back but his gaze is really on mine. I know it because I'm also looking at him that's why I know it. And when he said goodbye, I started to feel weird things. Weird. Like the butterflies in my stomach or my heart. And in the 2nd day of being a student teacher, we had a quiz. And at the time he said goodbye... one of my classmates asked if he could say goodbye to DENISE. PATRICK said, "DENISE bye.." while raising his right hand. We all shouted in glee, shouted in teasing style. But when I looked at him, I caught him again... looking at me again. WTF?? O_O? I'm like that. Why do he need to look at me when he need to say goodbye to DENISE?

                                            After that happenings, I finally confirmed to myself that I have a crush on him. Just a crush. ONLY A CRUSH. But fate really likes me to be happy. Test comes, and our school always schedule students to scatter to different classrooms. For example, the whole section 6 will not be together during test, like that. My room assignment is on room 408 high school building. I have 4 classmates with me in that room. As I enter, the first person I notice is PATRICK. He is sitting at the backmost part of the room. I smiled a bit. Because do you know that the night before that day I have a feeling that PATRICK will be my roomate, and it came true. Is that a wish or something? And our test is always 3 days. I said to myself, "This will be the happiest 3 days of my life!" 

                                           The first 2 days, nothing happen. But on the third day, our proctor is a happy teacher. He says jokes while we're taking the test. He is sitting too close to me. Theere was a time when we caught each other looking and locking our gazes together. I'm so happy that day. And I don't want that day to end. There is another thing that happen to me. I realized how fate is really working. I realized that PATRICK is living the same neighborhood as mine. What a fate? 

                                            One of his classmates named ERICKSON have a problem. His father died. They think of a thing that can help him, they go room to room to collect donations. Because that thing happened after their retreat. Imagine, seeing your parents dead after having a retreat. It hurts so much. They enter our room with a small box and they explained that they need donations. I am seating at the 2nd chair near the front door of our room, and PATRICK stayed in our front door while watching his other classmate who is the one touring our room with the box to accept money. I dig my pockets in front and in side but I don't have money. I don't have an extra money that time. I said "Wala na ata akong pera, ALITHEA, pwede bang pautang?" (I don't have enough money, Alithea can I borrow money from you?) then I hear him saying "PATAY! PATAY WALANG PERA... TSK TSK.." (I don't know how to convert that in english because PATAY is an expression, the english of PATAY is dead.. LOL). But do you know what a ing idiotic action I've done? I DON'T LOOK AT HIM!!! I IGNORED HIM!! WHAT THE ?? CAN I KILL MYSELF? And do you know what he do? he transfer to the back door area.. I WASTED A GOOD OPPORTUNITY. I think he thought that I don't care if he is existing or not.. !! HE FEEL IGNORED... -_-

                                            After that there's an incident that happen in our neighborhood. We lives in Cainta( Yo! Filipinos knew that!). There's a tremendous fire. But our house is far from that. But do you know what happened that day? I go home later than the time of our dissmissal which is 3:47 pm. I have a drink in my hand, I came from my classmate's house cause we are practicing the seniors prom's dance number. My curious mind begun when I noticed how people panic and they're carrying their stuffs away. Then I realized that the fire is in out neighborhood. I look straightly and realized that PATRICK is looking at me.. HE IS HERE IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD. He had his phone in his right ear and I heard him saying "Tita may sunog!" (There's a fire aunt.). I can feel the strumming of my heart go faster. WTF!?! And that's the time I realized that he is living in our neighborhood. Far from our house but at least in our neighborhood. THIS IS REALLY FATE!?!?! FATE FATE FATE FATE!!! 

                                              Another thing happened again. In the Philippines there is a vehicle named tricycle. It looks like this:

                                               It contains 4 people inside and 2 outside, one of the 2 people is beside the driver. Me, my bestfriend KAZUKO with her boyfriend REICH is together. PATRICK is walking ahead us. Then when we came to the terminal and we're supposed to ride a tricycle having a color shade of red. There's a person sitting inside. So inside, there's a 3 space. So I think we fit it, but PATRICK is seated at the outside, but he is not beside the driver. Because sometimes, girls are the one who are always sitting next to the driver because it's "LESS DANGEROUS". That's why he is seated at the outside part... he shows us a "gentleman" part of him. REICH go directl beside PATRICK, but I speak suddenly. "REICH you shouldn't sit their, there's still space for the three of us inside." my bestfriend KAZUKO, the only person who knew that I like PATRICK!!! she said.. "YES REICH, DON'T SIT BESIDE HIM.. DO YOU WANT HER TO SIT BESIDE PATRICK??" My smile became wide.. WTF!?!? KAZUKO... it's becoming obvious. My gaze transfer to PATRICK and notice him smiling. OMG!!! ING SMILE!!! Why do you have to smile so good? But I replied... "AM I A BOY?? WHY DO I NEED TO SIT THEIR?" Do you know why I said that?? Can you imagine me and PATRICK seated together!!! !!! I think I can be dead.. OMG!! But there's a 40% part in my heart and brain telling me that I should sit beside him... like it's an opportunity. but Really!!!! My heart!!!

                                               Another thing... My classmates knew that I had a crush with LORENZO, a transferee coming from a science high school.. Yes he is my crush, but not now. Like my past crush. There's a time where PATRICK is there, with his friends waiting in front of the gate of our school, it was dismissal time. KAZUKO called LORENZO because they're close, she asked if he knows me and then like that we're introduced to each other. But i don't feel anything when I'm being introduced to him. I'm like OK, fine whatever. When LORENZO's gone, I made an idiotic action again. Because there's a rumor in our school that PATRICK is a feeler... A feeler is a vocabulary in our country meaning that he thinks that he is so handsome and he easily thinks that every girl who is involved with him have a crush with him. OMG!!! I don't want him to think that he is my crush. That idiotic action is I go in such turbulent claiming that I'm blushing when LORENZO was being introduced to me... but not!!! WHAT THE AGAIN!?!?!? I know and I'm sure that he is hurt because he heard that I'm KINIKILIG!!! When we go home, he ride the tricycle first, at the back again.. but i notice how his frown obviously appearing in his face. what can I do??? I can't say that "DON'T WORRY PATRICK, IT'S YOU THAT I REALLY WANT!! IT'S NOT LORENZO!! THAT I LIKE YOU SO MUCH!!!"

                                               After that incident, i notice him not looking at me anymore, like he keeps on ignoring me... and Do you know.. Valentines Day, I'm expecting to receive flowers from him. WHAT A JERK!?!? WHY SHOULD I EXPECT WHEN I KEEPS ON IGNORING ME!!!! I'M THE FIRST ONE WHO IS IGNORING ME.. NOW I FEEL REGRET!!! 

                                                 Sorry of it's long but.... I really have no idea how can I keep this feeling of mine. I REALLY LIKES HIM.. PATRICK 3