See, my friend is sick. I'm sure she hasn't been feeling well since the weekend. We had a Saturday class and I noticed that she was a little down. She had her jacket all zipped up and she looked really sick. So when I approached her on my way home, I got a closer look at her. I was both mad and sad. Then I reached to check her temperature and she felt really hot. And I mean feverish hot. I asked her why she still came to school, and she said that she didn't want to miss the quiz or something. I asked her if she was going home for the weekend. She said that she wasn't. I was so disappointed. She's the kind of person who'd keep on attending class even if she felt bad or sick. And why am I always a problematic friend? I know it's not supposed to be my personal affair to look after them, but it's natural for me to make sure they're all okay. So I'm not always that caring and all, but when I do notice that someone's not feeling well, I'll do my best to help. Then my worst fears were confirmed: she had high fever by the time Sunday came and she had to be rushed to the hospital. She had a broken left wrist and her back was aching because she fell while playing basketball. I was shaken awake. I was so shocked. I had no idea she would reach that point. I texted our friend back, she's different from the sick friend, and I said that I'd pray for our sick friend. Then I texted the sick one. I told her that she should rest and all, I told her that I'm only being concerned, and that she could text me if ever she needed anything. She only replied with a thank you. I understood that maybe she was too weak to text so much. 

It just hurts me to know how sick she is. I'm never comfortable around sick people. I mean, who is? I'm not mad at her because she didn't look after herself so much. I'm more mad at the fact that she's under so much stress. Then she texted me yesterday telling me that she had to be at the hospital for three days for she was under observation. She asked me to be the one to tell our classmates and our professors about her situation, and that if I could be the one to handle things like handouts and such for her for a while. I called her up right away. "What did they say?" I could barely understand her words. She was slurring slightly and she had colds, I could hear it. So I decided to just tell her that I'll be the one to handle everything and that she just rest. "Sige (means okay/alright in Filipino), thank you ate (older sister in Filipino)." I hung up. I don't know if I was too sad or too hurt to do anything afterwards. So I logged online and posted on all our groups. 

Today I was a mess. I went up to our professors to tell them about the situation. Luckily they were all kind about it. Then some of us wanted to visit her. I wanted to go, but I know my mom won't let me. I debated with myself the whole day. But then I thought, what'd be my reason? I wanted to give her the handout we had to read? But I wanted her to rest properly. In the end, I didn't go. Then I got her text, it was a group message, saying that she was positive for dengue. It's what you get when you're bitten by mosquitoes. I was both mad, sad and just freaking out. I really wanted to go see her right then. But then my money wasn't enough and I had no idea how to go to her place.

I know I shouldn't be putting this out here but I really had to. I'm so lost.

This is how I rant. And I just hate it when I make so many typos. It makes me feel irritated especially when it comes to the easiest words.

I guess I just care for her a lot more than I should.