god i ing hate everything around me theres so much i want to accomplish but i'm so ing lazy.. ughhh

I have so much to deal with.. i just started a new school and i'm trying to fit in aswell as make nice, genuine good friends that i can hang and talk to for a long time but i'm having so much trouble with that.. i feel as if i have terrible luck because every friend that i make has some type of problem and all of them were all conicedentally bullied so they have some social handicaps and they all deal with depression... which is ing weird.. 

one friend in particular is such a bloody flake i swear but she told me that she suffers severe depression and she explained to me her whole bullying story for her and i felt sad for being mad at her for flaking on me but still i can't stand this unstability because its honestly hard to deal with because i have problems of my own.. i sound selfish but i just wanna be happy for once.

and now my stupid crush of three years decides to "call me" or but dial me and then i ignored it and felt bad then texted him saying did you call me accidentally and he said "it seems so, my bad"... idk why but that pissed me off... ughh  i just really love him or atleast i think i do.. honestly i want to get over him and find a nice male-companion/friend/lover.. but its difficult if i might add :(