kay, you know what?! I am fed up with shallow people. Because apparently that's the only kind I am surrounded by. I have this friend, I would see her as a good friend, but I am not quite sure if she regards me the same. I used to think she was hilarious always fun to be around but now she only annoys me. I have come to realize that she is immature and very shallow. Once when she was feeling very down I was there for her, and I don't know what happened but I guess she has lost her interest in me or whatever. Let's call her C.

So now whenever I am with C, she only talks about her other friends, she talks about how good looking they are, how popular they are, and the many awesome parties they have.

Whatever I do she doesn't really appreciates. This is what happens to me most of the times, the problem is that the friends I end up having don't appreciate me, which leads me into depression. Or a rather unhappy me.

I am fed up with comparing myself to her other friends. It just feels like I am not good enough, and I'm sick of it. I try my best. But what is your ing problem? You don't even deserve the effort I put into our friendship. 

One thing that annoys me about her as well is how much appearance matter to her. She's one year younger but that doesn't give her the right to be such a spoiled brat and ARH!!

We were watching a movie, and she kept telling me how hot the main character is which I totally get because yes he is good looking. But you don't have to remind me every second. And that's not it! With C it's always like this, whenever she sees a guy, she falls head over heels. For her it's only appearance that matters. She is just so stupid sometimes, doesn't care sometimes as long as he is hot she'd him.

Okay, that might not be entirely true but yeah...

I went to this party once of her other friends' and shiiiit they were ing skinny. It’s like anorexic it doesn’t even look good. And C looks like a humongous giant next to them, one would actually find it amusing... 

And hearing the skinny es (including the guys there, they're like sticks) talking about some friend they know calling her fat makes me feel like .

My weight is pretty average or 'normal' if you could say so. I don't see what people find attractive about girls like that without curves. 

C told me she ''loves'' me like she tells all the other friends. But I don't believe that C says anymore. 

Enough about that, moving on. So I have another friend, called K.

So K is going through some rough time with her boyfriend. And he's acting like a dickhead. Since the beginning of our relationship I have given her advice about the species called male and about dating them.

It's always like this, she answer (most of the time) all my questions when it's about her and her bf and her.... Like she'd reply when it's about her.

The problem is I really like her, she was heaps nice when I was new and just arrived. But she has the attention span of a gold fish...

Whenever you're talking to her, she's never there 100% she is always looking somewhere else into the distance like she'd rather be talking to everyone else but you. Well, that’s at least how I feel.

But the actual problem is that I am there for her whenever she is down, or needs advice, or whenever she needs someone to make her smile.

I just feel used that whenever I want something from her, I don’t' know, like a decent talk or just to hang out. It's like I am only second priority, it's like were friends when K wants to be or needs it. I just feel used. No one can really like me back for who I am, or give equally as much I do into our friendship. If you can even call it that.

What? Is it because I am not good enough? I don't deserve my friend’s interest - they only deserve mine?

Well you sincerely and dearly and pray to god you realize what a lame excuse you are of a friend...

Maybe it's not that bad but I just feel down.

I miss people who love me, for who I am, not who they thought I were.

Diana