'fear

I know that this life ain't made for forever. No one has ever tasted immortality. And yet, I'm afraid to die. Blame it on my age or on my own beliefs, but 'm scared. I'm so scared, that I don't think I'll go take those brain tests they said I need to have...

The thing is -- maybe just a childish fear of mine, a nightmare to the core actually -- that I have terrible headaches. Like, half of my head, always the left one, hurts like hell all of a sudden! At first, it's like a dagger being ed into my skull, hitting the brain. And then it stransforms itself into a claw that drags the pain all over the left half of my head, making me curl under the blankets. I don't know what it is that causes it... All I know is that it ain't normal to hurt like that.

And today I went to the doctor. And he gave me this note, sending me to the hospital to have some tests in the near future. And sincerely, I'm afraid. Whenever my best friend would sent me to the hospital, I'd answer "Why? To tell me that ve got two more weeks to live? No thanks!". But right now, it scares the out of me that huge IF... what if they really tell me I've got that little to leave? What would I do? What will come of my dreams, those big dreams I still have and hold dear, trying my best to make them come true? What will come of my dream of marrying Seung Ho one day or at least meet him and tell him that his music, their music was the best thing I found in my whole life?

What will become of me? My stories? My family? My mother?

Fear took over me, guys TT.TT All I can do right now is curl up in my bed and hope there's nothing wrong with me...

Alright! I'll shake off everything and be the bright Kat once again! Hella~~ *giggles*

Anywayn check this if you haven't and please vote, cote, vote! ^~^ Your opinion counts :D

Back to Top ↑

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
Escritoire #1
Hopefully, it's a minor thing that has a simple cure? Those headaches sound horrible and I don't want you having any of those anymore. I get really scared of being sent to the hospital too. I ran out before my first blood test and had to be chased around in the parking lot LOL but they found a way to make me better. You've got many dreams to fulfill that you're actually taking steps toward. You've got my prayers. Update us as soon as possible on those tests~
E_magine #2
Don't let those thoughts get to you. God knows ur days and he won't take you before or later than he desires. Don't be afraid because fear paralyses. We've got your back :D
b-itnaneun #3
Don't assume for now, unnie. Just continue on with your usual activities, but keep things maintained. Don't overstress yourself, because that hurts us the way your headaches hurt you. Eat right and sleep early to get good rests. Ask God to lead you all through this! And keep alive, because I don't want to lose another one of my friends again.
ke_xin #4
I don't know how, but it'll be ok, Kat. Everyone's afraid of dying, especially with this kinda thing. My roommate last year refused to go to the hospital after she got some blood work done because they thought she might have TB. When she finally went though, they told her she didn't. So it could all turn out to just be a big fuss. Either way, we'll be here for you.
YuxieWuxie #5
Don't worry about it until you hear it. :D

When I was little I used to have headaches ALL the time. I'd always cry from it because it hurt VERY bad. I went to many controls, they thought I might have tumors and stuff when in the end it was because of my bad eyesight. I made efforts to see and that caused me headaches. :D Maybe you've got the same problem. :D
danlyy #6
Kat, stay strong! Even when you feel afraid, think of the things u wanna do and haven't done, think of your friends here on AFF, just fight it! Do not worry, we will always support you!^^
Back to Top ↑