There's this horrible pain that just sits in my chest. It's not so much physical as it is emotional. I feel lost, but in a way where I know where I'm going.

Stuck.

That's what I'd call it.

I'm stuck in this void. I'm stuck with a person right now, who I don't want to be near because I'm just incapable of being with certain people, but I can't leave.

I can't just tell them everything that I hate about them and it hurts because I don't really hate them as much as I say I do. It hurts to know that my short tempered ness has hurt them.

It hurts more to know that they're in more pain than I am. So many people are, and I'm no therapist. What can I do? 

Nothing. 

I'm so ing useless. 

I feel alone too. If it weren't for one person, I wouldn't even try to live. I wouldn't bother trying my best. I wouldn't laugh or smile. 

I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore. All I know is that I need a hug. so bad. 

I need quiet. I need so many things. But you can't have everything you want huh?

I hate myself a lot of the time. 

I tried not sobbing while writing this. I didn't succeed. But that's okay. Maybe if I cried more I'd stop bottling my bull up. I'd stop hating the world too..

no

that's pushing it. I'll always hate things.

Sorry for wasting your time, I just needed to put that all into words, because maybe then it would make more sense.