My oh my...now between two guys...
Songs listened to while writing this (playlist of 609 songs):
Seo Inguk & Eunji - Just the Way We Love
Yamaa Tomohisa - Party Don't Stop
So, it probably feels like forever since I last wrote about my life, right? Well here's another update on my "wonderful" life. I'm not even sure that wonderful is the exact word for it... What would someone exactly call my life? It's really not that great...or at least I don't think so... But maybe it's interesting to some people, I like to think that my life is a little interesting sometimes, haha. I mean, with everything I go through, it's quite an adventure, I'll say that much.
Well, as most of you probably know, I like this guy named Puppy... and I think things may be getting a little more complicated than I would like.
I mean, I still like Puppy, that doesn't seem to be changing any time soon, but I think there might be the entrance of another guy.
Probably...more than likely...I've mentioned this guy before. He was my chemistry lab partner last term and we're friends with each other, I guess, haha. I mean, we're Facebook friends with each other, but he commutes so he doesn't live on campus. Today, however, I just suddenly happened to run into him while I was sitting in one of the buildings waiting for one of my other classes to start. He was coming into the building to wait until his class started. We don't have the same class, though since mine is in a different building than where I was sitting.
Anyway, we were talking and things like that and actually, he's exactly like Puppy. Not...really, but like their personalities are a lot alike. They're both outgoing and funny and interesting to be around. And I will admit that this guy is pretty cute... I guess I need a nickname for him... but I can't think of one suitable at the moment, so that'll just have to wait until another time that I decide to write about him, and that's if I do write about him again.
But while we were slightly catching up with one another, I brought up how much he reminds me of Puppy. I just said that he reminded me a lot of him by the way that they both act and things like that. I mean, he was acting like a drunk guy for who knows what reason, randomly, and that's honestly something that Puppy would probably do.
However, thinking back on it, that was like this morning at 11:00 and now it's like 5:30 in the evening as I'm writing this sentence, so by the time it gets posted, it'll be later for sure, by at least like fifteen minutes maybe? Anyway, thinking back on it, I think that it was a bad idea to bring up Puppy because as soon as I mentioned that he reminded me of someone else, it kind of seemed like the atmosphere between us got awkward. I'm not entirely sure how... but maybe I do know... but it just... something was just off.
I'm not going to immediately jump to the conclusion that he likes me. No sir, but I can inference it, right?
Like afterwards, after I brought up Puppy, and after I corrected myself saying that Puppy and this guy are exactly the same rather than having Puppy be weirder than him, I clarified that I spend more time with Puppy so I would know him better. As compared to this guy, who I just saw today for the first time since who knows when... early December? It's probably been over a month since we saw each other. Sometimes I see him in passing, but today was the first time that we actualy talked with each other since who knows when.
But after I said something about spending more time with Puppy, he just said that then we should hang out more with each other... Now, I don't mind hanging out more with this guy, he's a cool guy and he's fun to be around. Honestly, though, that's the first time that I heard a guy say that we should hang out more. Other guys have implied it to me, just implying that we should hang out.
Like there's this one instance from middle school in eighth grade. I was friends with this one guy ever since we were in preschool and without me knowing anything, since I was a naive teenaged girl, he began liking me since we were in the fifth grade. Sure, friends always said something about us being together and asked if we were dating and made assumptions about it, but we would always deny it. I had no idea that there were feelings for him. I mean, he was a jock, all of the girls liked him. And then there's me... just an average girl who got good grades, who everyone considered smart. We had more of a love/hate relationship.
Anyway, getting back to the story, in eighth grade, he gave me his phone number for about two weeks. He would give it to me on a slip of paper and told me to call him, since this was before everyone had cell phones. At least, I didn't have a cell phone until ninth grade, my freshman year of high school. So, for two weeks he gave it to me and when I would come in the next day, he would ask me why I never called him to come over to my house so we could play video games with each other and I would simply respond that I lost his phone number, to which he would give it to me again. That cycle continued.
That's the only other time that I can think about where a guy sort of asked to hang out more together... That time when I didn't know anything and this time when I know a bit more about relationships and things.
But do you think that he's implying that he likes me? Do you think that he likes me? He could just be saying that we need to be better friends with one another... but is he really saying that? I mean, today he was also complaining about his sister and about how she had a secret boyfriend that he knew nothing about. A few months ago, when we were still in the same chemistry lab and were partners with one another, he talked about how his sister got home later and later and I mentioned the thought about her having a boyfriend, which he immediately dismissed. But now he started talking to me about how he didn't know and things like that... but that was probably just a story by him.
But do you think that I'm reading too much into a simple question, or rather, a simple statement saying that we should hang out with one another?
I guess if I do hang out with this guy, I'll write about it and talk about what happened... We'll just have to see.
Anyway, I guess now it's time to get back to the talk about me and Puppy and everything else that has been going on. I guess... nothing much has been going on in my life besides schoolwork and sort of hanging out with Puppy. It's not really hanging out since we see each other for at least an hour a day, but on Wednesdays we will see each other for about two hours, maybe even three if he decides to go eat lunch. And today was Wednesday, so we saw each other for three hours today, since he decided to get lunch, after much persistance by me and two other people that we mutually know.
But we didn't really do anything besides the normal stuff that we do. I mean, he leans on me during math and I poke him. He tells me stories or draws stupid things on his notebook during class and then when we're not in class and at lunch, he talks about his high school band director and things like that. He also takes my phone and attempts to set alarms for no reason, and no I don't have his phone number. Although he does have a phone, he doesn't use it very often.
However, things have been sort of...down with Puppy lately for a family reason. I remember yesterday I went into class and he likes to play this game on my iPad, it's sort of a combination of Pokemon and Bejeweled. It's really fun to play and even though he has an iPod he won't get the game for it, he'd rather play on my device.
So I went into class yesterday and saw him sprawled across the seats like he's sleeping. The classroom is set up so that the seats are connected, so it's practically impossible to get in and out without disturbing someone in there. It's sort of like lecture/auditorium seats, how annoying those are, haha. So he was lying across those and I asked him why he was doing that and he said that he was sad since he apparently missed a quiz or something online. I thought he said computer science and I was going to correct him and tell him that the quiz wasn't due until Thursday, but I couldn't hear what he was saying properly since he was mumbling, so I just decided that it would be best not to say anything.
After a while, I finally got him to sit up and then he leaned on me while I sat at the desk before switching to sitting on my right, since he always sits on my left, and then he played my game. Before class started, I asked him what was wrong since it looked like he was sad and he said that it was just a horrible day since he thought he missed the quiz and that his computer was broken so he had to get a phone call from the computer repair guy, who wasn't calling him back. I asked him if anything else made him sad and he said yea, that one of his family members was going to die this week...
I didn't know what to say, so after he told me, he just looked at me and said yea and turned his head to look at the front of the class, even though the teacher wasn't there yet. So, not knowing what to do anything, I put my arm around his shoulder and patted it, telling him that it was going to be alright and I pet his head a little, since he is a Puppy. But I was honestly at a loss of what to do. What do I tell someone who knows that someone important to them is going to die this week? How can you just count the days knowing that one of these days, someone important is going to be taken away from you?
Today during class, he looked even sadder than before. I was going to ask him about it, or at least tell him that everything was going to be alright without really saying anything... but I couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to tell him that, to say anything. Whenever he looked sad, since he would often rest his head on the desk today, I would pat his hand and tell him that it's alright. I guess that that's the only thing that I can do. But whenever I would do that, he would grab my fingers or something. He would grab some of my fingers and hold them tightly before letting them go and the only thing I could do was just stare at him without saying a word.
I felt bad for not being able to say anything. I felt bad for not being able to comfort him when I know that he's going through a hard time. I just... I just feel bad. I want to do something, I want to be able to be there and be able to comfort him, but the words just aren't forming. I can tell that when he jokes he's overdoing it to probably mask his pain. I can see it in his eyes that something's not right, and even though I know what the something that's not right is, I can't find myself to tell him that I'll be there or that everything is going to be alright. I just...can't, no matter how much it kills me inside...
Well, this post was longer than I intended, but that's everything that's been happening in my life lately. Sorry if some of you don't like reading about it and sorry if some of you don't like the sad things that I write about sometimes or things like that. And thanks to the people that made it to the end. And if you have any interest to any of the songs that I listen to while writing these things, I have now added links to the songs, just click on the song title. Enjoy!
And that's it for this post. Like I said earlier, it would be much later when I posted it and right now it's almost 6:00 PM, so looks like it's later, haha. So, that's it for this post...I should get back to writing to update my stories...
Thanks for reading, if you made it down this far! And good morning, good afternoon, and good night!
See you soon :)
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