For three nights now, cannibals, werewolves and armed men chased after Keeper. Dreams like these haunted me ever since I was a child. There are months of peace but they return. And when they do, I run. Running is never Keeper's idea of exercise. But it is all I do in my dreams. Run away.

As I was ironing my pants for the Sunday church service, I pondered about this. It has been quite some time since I had these dreams. Why have they returned? What am I running away from?

Come to think of it, the only time I fought back was last week. Werewolves were chasing after me, or rather, were out to kill another werewolf who, for some reason, I was determined to save.

I replayed my life over the past week and searched for any encounter I have with a cannibal, werewolf or armed men. A word. A movie. A fic. A novel. But there was nothing that could have triggered these dreams.

Perhaps, they are symbols; they stand for the things I am running away from. Expectations. Responsibilities. Disappointments.

Fortunately, I didn't burn my pants or blouse.

Praise and worship started promptly. And our worship leader shouted, "Freedom!"

I knew I was done for. Once again, my heart will be ripped open and I will be messed up.

The songs were all about freedom.

Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.

Then our worship leader continued, "Freedom from people's expectations. Freedom from disappointments. Freedom from fear," in the exact sequence my thoughts went earlier.

I have been a Christian, His child, for so long now. And there are still areas in my life that needs fixing, mending...healing. Today I am reminded that freedom comes from Him. I no longer need to run.

If I only focus on Him and align in His expectations and hopes for me - instead of my parents and other people -I would live a life of true freedom.

We do have an audience, an audience of one. And it is His thoughts about us that matters.

I am so caught up with my circumstances that I forgot. If I just mute my surroundings, and do my best for Him and Him alone, I won't feel like I'm being chased by monsters I created.

-Keeper