Mr. & Mrs. Choi 

Title: (3/5)

It’s nice, but when I read it I didn’t have the slightest clue what it was about. I thought it was a super lovey dovey fanfic. Then I click it and BAM! Super cool! Full of blood, guns, power and of course love.  I would suggest to put a title with more spice, you’re story is so damn good! The title kind of weak.

Description/Foreword: (5/10)

I found some mistakes in the description. Check this:

Original:  Park Bom, neice of notorious Yakuza leader

Should be: Park Bom, niece of notorious Yakuza leader.

Original: “…quickly fall in love and get marryied before…”

Should be: “…quickly fall in love and get married before…”

I could recommend you to check the beginning of the description, you continue to use the conjunction and, so it looks like a never ending sentence.

Original: Park Bom, niece of notorious Yakuza leader, and Choi Seunghyun, heir of the KKangpae Royal Family, meet while on vacation in Madrid and quickly fall in love and get married before they even return home.

Could be: Park Bom is the niece of a notorious Yakuza leader, and Choi Seunghyun is the heir of the KKangpae Royal Family. They meet on a vacation in Madrid; they quickly fall in love and get married before they even return home.

About the foreword.

The length of the foreword is kind of long, even though it was awesome, it’s long and some readers could give up before reading it.

Plot: (25/25)

Freaking AWESOME! It’s 100 million times better than Mr. & Mrs. Smith. I adore the action scenes, it also looks you did some research about guns and fights which is pretty good! Continue the good work! I can’t wait for the next update \(^0^)/

Grammar: (19/20)

I’ve found few spelling mistakes. Check this

In chapter 4

Original: “He fornwed…”

Should be: “He frowned…”

In chapter 10

At the very end, I was confused when Bom says

“I don’t need a anyone.”

Did you mean “I don’t need anyone?”

In chapter 15

Original: “…You talking to the CEO of Park Pharmaceuticals.”

Should be: “…You’re talking…”

In chapter 18

Original: Mi casa es su casa y mi cama es su cama también.

Should be: Mi casa es tu casa y mi cama es tu cama también.

Trust me. I’m mexican.

 

Chapter 22

Original: “I stood to my feet and began to wlk around.”

Should be: “I stood to my feet and began to walk around.”

Original: “He pulled me back to the  roup..”

Should be: “He pulled me back to the group.”

Orignal: “Bom, do you kno how..”

Should be : “Bom do you know how..”

Characters:  (15/15)

Damn it, I thought it was impossible for TOP to be ier but in your fanfic he’s too damn y! WOW amazing!

I love every single character! They have an amazing personality!

Flow: (9/10)

They married kind of fast hahaha just that little detail, everything else super amazing!

Writing style: (5/5)

I like a lot the way you write, especially the action scenes. No complains at all. ^^

Overall enjoyment: (10/10)

I have never been so enchanted by a fanfic! Really I’m just like WOW what is going to happen next!? I really enjoyed and I’m happy I did this review.

Total: (91/100)

Bonus: (4/5)

I’m a YG fan, hehehe and TOP is my ultimate bias. LOVE HIM! The poster is beautiful too.

New Total: (95/100)