≫ Title [ 4/ 5 ]

 

Well, there’s nothing wrong with the title since nobody can really make a mistake over one word. Though the title is not eye-catching enough, it fits perfectly with the story.

 

≫ Poster and background [ 3.5/ 5]

 

I guess it would make sense to have Key and Onew as the main image since the story is centred on them.  The background though, did not give any effect to the story even though it is blue and calming. I’m not saying that it is not suited to the story. I’m saying that it gives no relation whatsoever to the mood your readers should feel.

 

≫ Description/Foreword [5/ 10]

 

To be honest, when I read the description, I don’t feel like continuing to read it (and not because it’s not in my otp list) and it’s a shame because your story is quite good. Your description doesn’t seem interesting enough and there’s a bit of grammar mistake here and there. But I’m giving you a 5 because in your foreword, you explained the idea on what you had in mind. Otherwise, it would have been a 3.

 

≫ Content and main plot [ 17/ 20]

 

The main plot is great. It focuses on a moral and it doesn’t stray from it. Same goes for the content. The friendship and close bonds between the members were perfectly outlined so I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it.

 

≫ Characterisation [15/ 15]

 

The characters were well-played and none contradict their personality. Their dialogues and the way they behave in the story fits their character.

 

≫ Basic Grammar/Spelling [14/ 15]

 

Besides the grammar mistakes in the foreword, everything else was quite flawless.

 

≫ Writing style [7.5/ 10]

 

Overall, your writing style is ok. I have a small problem with your paragraphing though. It would help if you don’t cram everything in one paragraph. This would make your readers be more at ease and helps to conjure a more dramatic feel to your story.

For instance, if you want to separate between one time setting and another in a chapter, separate it with something simple like “ ~*~” or “ ---“ in between the two settings so that your readers won’t be confused with the sudden change of time in your story.

I’ll give you an example:

Grey static. Key’s world turned into grey static.

Instead, it could be:

Grey static.

Key’s world turned into grey static.

 

P/s: I’m not sure grey static is the right word but I’m going to let it go this time.

 

≫ Flow of the story [10/ 10]

 

The flow was great and nothing was confusing.

 

≫ Entertainment level [7.5/ 10]

 

I can’t really give high marks for this one because it wasn’t in my otp list. However, I think shinee fans everywhere would enjoy your story :)

 

Total: 83.5

Grade: A

 

Reviewer’s note: This is my first review. Please tell me how I did ^^