I have been a fan of daragon for so long. seeing their helo perf I justs can't deny that they look cute together, that they have some chemistry. I went to see their 'proof' at youtube and other site and I fell in love with them instantly, deeeply. 

everyday I open allkpop/ other news, hoping that finally gd wil reveal that he and dara is dating.

But then as times goes, the article that I was hoping for never shows.. 

I always imagined what would happen when dara have another boyfriend other than gd. I would gladly accept that. but what I didn't realized, is that at every story that I imagines in my head with dara dating  someone other than gd, I always make the end as gd and dara again. and right now, I just realized that I love both of them much more than i have ever thought.

the realization should calmed me, should make me happy that I'm a true appler but instead, it scared me to the core. I just can't accept it if gd is dating someone other than dara, and that thought terrify me, especialy after i hear the rumour that happens betwee gd and kiko.

I was hurt.

I never wanted to be hurt. I don't want to be that crazy fans who cry and hate their idol when they get themselves their soulmate. but suddenly I found my self getting pissed of by gd just because of the thought that he could date someone other than dara.

honestly I feel mad at myself. how could I even felt that way? I always tell my self that I'm a true VIP because I stand by their side when I see them at their worst because  i keep loving them even if my parents tell me that they're a bad guys. so why can't I be a true VIP now? why can't I just be happy for him? 

Today, I look at the article of gd and kiko picture in phuket. I thought that the comments that fans will write for him is bad. I thought that they would tell gd that he should not date her. but then, when I look at them, 98% of the comments was about how they were happy for him nd that kiko is a nice chill chick that match gd well.

it strucks me hard.

I should be one of this fans who were happy for him when he got himself a girlfriend, the one that will always support him no matter what he does. 

and so I choose to let go. I know that it would be hard. I've tried it a lot of times and none of it works. but back then I always try to stop loving daragon so that I would not be hurt when both of them was not dating. Right now, I'l try my hardest to stop loving daragon not because I was scared that I'll be hurt ,but because I'm a VIP that accept big bang with whoever girl they chose. 

I know that deep inside I'll always love daragon. that there would always be a thin string of hope that they're together. they're the very ship that I got into \ appler is such a strong fans. they have an unbreakable tie to one another. they keep shipping and believing that daragon is true even if the world is againts them. they hold on to each other and remind others that they should never lose their faith.they protect each other.  appler is a family. 

 I'm glad I ever be one of them. I'm glad that I ever be one of the family members.