What do you want when you see your favorite idols cry and the fans chant "uljima!"? 

Maybe most of you want to be one of the lucky fans who get to be there with the idols. But no, being one of them is not what I want the most.

Having fans cheering on you when you cry, can you imagine how good it will be? When you cry like that, they are not your friends. But your fans who are there to cheer you up. The reason to stop crying. 

I envy them. I don't envy anything else, I only envy them for having those true friends. Although it won't last forever.

I want to stand on that stage, singing a song for the fans and they will sing together with me. They will make me realize how much people who love me. They will make me cry until I can't continue singing the song. They don't want the song to stop, so they sing it. After they finish it, I will cry even harder and they will chant those words that can cheer me up. What can be better than that?

In my real life, my friends don't even understand me when I cry. They do cheer me up, but it doesn't make me feel loved at all. I stop crying when they are with me, but in the night, I will just cry again and thinking of my friends won't make me feel better. Imagine having those fans. They don't only cheer you up, but they cry together with you. And in the night, when you start to cry again, you can think of how your fans love you and you will top crying. 

I really want to be significant. But sometimes I think, how can i be important to the world when people around me don't even take me seriously? I want to be a person who can change someone's life. I want to be a person that someone will love, even though that someone hasn't even met me in real life. 

For short, I want an idol's life. I know it. I know how hard and tiring it is. Not only physically, but also mentally. I know that training isn't easy. Practicing almost everytime, not getting enough sleep, having anti-fans, terrors, gossips, and you won't get enough privacy. Living far from your family and friends. People know everything you do. I know that it's really hard and you have to give up your normal life. But it's worth it in the end. You get paid (maybe the salary isn't that high), you have fans, you will have value. I know the fame is temporary, but I want it. To be honest, being a singer is my dream since I was really young. But when I was young, I only want to be a singer, an entertainer. But now I want more. I don't only want to be a singer, but also an idol.