I thought my life is over...I mean...I didn't tell my dad stuff and all coz I know he'll worry! I also disappointed my family and always thought I am depending on them when I know how to take care of myself....

Staying with my mum...I think made thought about a lot of stuff. Like what ifs

My mum told me I should take something for skills so I won't be hungry. But I am too lazy to go out and do it...I don't know...I feel like a useless person sometimes...they want me to follow them to Australia...but I decided not to go after all...eventhough how much I hate this God forsaken country. 

I also feel like being in a fandom hurts me...every single time...like always missing their concerts....I feel is not worth fangirling after all. It doesn't mean I'll stop being a fan but I'll keep a low profile. I guess that's what changes me....

Well I know I will forever be me...never changing...and hoped...at least once...just once I get to meet them...before I quit being a fangirl completely. Is my decision...and I won't turn back this time. Is time for me to start anew.....no more fangirling....no more fics....no more....not anymore....I'm sorry everyone. But I feel I have to grow up somehow...the reason why is to be an adult. 

Well I hoped to see you all out there...somehow...someday....I don't know...maybe...Bye for now...