I'm Leaving

Hello there, everybody!

Yesterday...*sigh* yesterday was an awful day for me. And the following week will be the Hell on Earth for me. Yesterday, my mom found my grandpa dead on the floor of his house. Yesterday, the police and the ambulance filled my courtyard. Yesterday, I had to see everyone cry. Yesterday, I had to be strong and support my mother. Yesterday, I could only regret the death of my favourite grandparent. He was... the best memory maker of my childhood. He was the best! And yesterday, all I could was regret; that I never told him that he's the best for me, that I never thanked him for the nice things he got me, that I laughed at him... You see, my grandpa was a sinner. He was an alcoholic. Every time he had little money, he would drink them away. But he was all smiles and jokes when he was drunk. He was never violent or anything like that... But you see, I never realized that until yesterday. I found it disgusting... but not anymore. And to think that I saw him not long ago, on Christmas Eve when he came inside (he lived next door from us)... Why? Why didn't I tell him that he was the best? Why was I so stupid?!

And now he's gone. And because he died yesterday and they took his body to legal medicine for further investigations on his death, he will be buried somewhere during the following week. And it's hard for me to know that I will now step inside an empty house or that I will never see him carrying firewood from our courtyard.

So, I'm going to go. I'm leaving AFF and I don't know when I'll be back. Might be at the end of this week or... I don't know really. So, I'm sorry. I wanted to let you guys know about my sudden disappearance.

Sweet fireflies, please let your close ones know that they're indeed special for you before it's not too late. So that you won't come regretting like I am now...

And also, I'll dedicate one of my on-going stories to my grandpa, because his sudden disappearance is like the crash of a whole world for me. Here's to my grandpa!

P.S. And Seung Ho hurt his arm too... Why is God against me this last week of 2012?! TT.TT I feel so... empty... so deserted...

A Tomorrow

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Acacia_Nightwing #1 Dec 31, 2012 21:06:12

God has plans. He has trials for you to become stronger, to learn from your mistakes. Don't lose hope. Pray for your grandpa all the time so that he can rest in peace. You'll be okay, everyone of us his time, and it was your grandpa's time. Be strong! Keep on living! Fighting!

sandyythaoo #2 Dec 31, 2012 12:57:54

We've never really talked but I've read your stories before. Sorry to hear about your lost. I dunno what to say, just hope you'll feel better soon. Although that'll take time.
Also, just know that he's now in a better place above looking over you all. <3
Take your time, no need to rush back to aff.

exoticelflover #3 Dec 30, 2012 23:57:30

kayam eta!!! it's just a trial, you must know how to move on!!! i know it's hard but it is for your own sake...

E_magine #4 Dec 30, 2012 23:09:44

I'm sorry to hear about it, you're in my prayers take as much time as you need.

xinli_ang #5 Dec 30, 2012 19:48:50

I'm sorry it had to be that way. :( Take your time to get better, we'll wait for you! Take care. <3

LovesAsianDrama #6 Dec 30, 2012 09:35:54

My Condolences to you and your family during this difficult time. I just lost my dad in April. So I feel your pain. But I hope you remember the love he showed you, and the times he was there for you. The pain of losing someone is strong, but in time will fade, but it won't lessen. He will always be apart of your HEART. Remember the good times and Smile when you think of them. And should you need us, we are here for you

daydreamergirl11 #7 Dec 30, 2012 09:24:36

I am so sorry!! I can't say anything to make you feel better because in this situation there is nothing anyone can say or do to really help. I will say that while you are gone I will miss you. Please take care of yourself while being gone. If you need anything just drop me a message here or on Facebook. Even if it is just to vent.

drYang #8 Dec 30, 2012 08:55:22

my deepest condolences to you and your family...
I could just imagine how difficult and painful it must be to loose not just a an important part of your childhood, but someone you deeply loved......
I could give you all the nice words of comfort, but at the end of the day we all know it's the pain of loosing someone we love that we'll be with...
i hope you'll be able to cry it all out...and after your time to grieve, i hope you'll be able to live on your life joyfully as you keep all the memories and lessons your lovely grandfather gave you along the way... <ultrabighuugs for you>...

leficklerabbit #9 Dec 30, 2012 07:02:01

You must stay strong, healthy and even though your grandad may not be with you physically, he's always there in your heart, maybe looking down from heaven.
Smile, after the grieving, cause I don't think your grandad would want to see his grandchild and family crying for him and wasting their life.
And always remember there's people near you that loves you :)

_unpredictable #10 Dec 30, 2012 06:46:57

Sorry to hear that, honey.

I know how hard is it to loose your favorite grandparent since my grandpa (who was also an alcoholic and had Alzheimer) died in March, I cried a lot during that time, but now I sometimes sit in front of the old pictures with him and smiled, knowing of how much happiness he bought in my life for all those years.

I hope you'll be okay, and I hope that you'll find a way to pass though this hard step.

My condolences. ;_;

kiky00joker #11 Dec 30, 2012 06:18:11

My condolences. I've been through your situation twice before. I've lost both of my grandfathers. I know it's hard and it hurts a lot but in the end the pain will begin to fade. Be strong!

TeddyBoo #12 Dec 30, 2012 05:32:33

Grieving is hard. But we are all here for you. Take as much time as you need, we will all be here and i'm sure that your grandpa knows how much you love him now, he is watching from above, guarding you and your mother. God bless you. xoxo

OneOfAKindBich #13 Dec 30, 2012 05:26:27

I'm so sorry.
My condolences to you and your family for your loss.
I know what it feels like to lose someone like that...it was my father instead...then his brother.
Stay strong.
I know you can make it though because I did.... *hugs*

--YatLuvG #14 Dec 30, 2012 05:04:53

I'm so sorry to hear this my dear. Be strong!
I know how it feels to not be able to tell something to our love one before they leave us forever. I've been in that situation and its hurt so much because the regret will remain to what seems forever...
but don't be sad. be strong as tomorrow might be a better day for you and I'll pray that you'll have a better tomorrow so you could smile again, so you won't cry again. Although those words are left unspoken, I'm sure he knew that.... he has a lovely granddaughter who loves him so much. so please be strong okay sweetie. *hugs*