[warning for spoiler and excessive murder intention coming from inside of you the more you read]

Inhale. Exhale. Now slowly, put down that gun.

I’m not good enough of a writer for this story. I feel the need to write this down. Not necessarily to explain to the readers, but just sharing my insight. I might or might not have failed to explain these points to the readers through the story.

► The title is Requiescat In Pace.

That’s the phrase ‘Rest In Peace’ in Latin (for those who doesn’t know or too lazy to google it ;p). We say that as a prayer to the deceased. I feel it’s just right to pick this phrase as the title not just because I’m not creative enough Jiyoung died in the end, but also because she has been a restless soul even while she was alive. Junho said he saw hollow in her. That’s because the moment her mental state brokedown long time ago, she no longer found her footing. She might have recovered from any mental disorder, but just as Jiyoung had said,

“It’s not that simple, Junho. The doctor might claim that I’m ninety-nine percent healthy right now, but that one percent left... It can happen to me anytime. One day, things might just snap, and I’m back to zero,”

She lacked that one percent. She was not complete, she couldn’t find her ground. She was not there; she was everywhere, trying to find that one percent that can make her whole again. But even Junho couldn’t replace that one percent for her, because it was hers to start with, and she had lost it. She could never find it back.

► The reason Jiyoung did the thing she did.

In no way I’m trying to promote suicide as a solution to any problems, anything at all out there. In Jiyoung’s perspective, she didn’t do it to solve any problem, she was just simply thinking that it was one of the ways to say goodbye. She thought it’s the perfect time to leave (if this even makes sense), and suicide is a perfectly normal way to do so. This is the perspective of her mental state that was lacking that one percent, and this is also the proof that her one percent is kicking in. In short = she just doesn’t make sense.

Even so, she was still partly sane (and partly insane). She managed to convince herself that she will be alright even if Junho frequently left her alone. She also knew the fact that she’s losing more and more of herself. Her reason of being alive: from living her life calmly, teach piano lessons, stay at home, slowly recovering, to Junho. Her motives gradually (quite drastically tbh) changed to Junho and solely Junho. She realized this and knew while it was not good for her; it was no good for Junho either. Their relationship will get imbalanced, she’ll lose (control of) herself and later on her mental breakdown will just happen again. She decided while she was happy enough, while things were fine, while she was sane (though not completely), she should leave. Have a clean ending.

You can’t continue to stay with someone like me. While I’m still sane enough, I’m returning the happiness you gave me, so you should find someone else to give it to. Thank you, Lee Junho.

► Hints.

I probably failed the most in this part. But Jiyoung did show some hints about her end.

“I promise, unni. Don’t worry. You’ll see soon.”

Jiyoung convinced Aeri that she was perfectly happy, that she’s going to be fine and that Aeri will see soon. Her idea of being fine was the end of her life. She thought that that was perfect ending, a closing of a fulfilled life.

Also, little hints here and there that showed she was constantly anxious under the care of Junho.

► Junho.

A highschool friend whom she was always together with. She might already be in love with him since they were younger but didn’t realize it. He was important enough for her to lose her mind just because:

she lost her ability to play piano perfectly the way she did before,

she lost him when he left hometown to be a trainee at JYPE.

In short, music and Junho are the two most important aspects in her life.

Also, her mental breakdown relapsed the second time because of him.

His character had lots of flaws (on purpose). He acted on impulse a lot of the times. He never listened to Aeri. He had too much pride, thinking he could help Jiyoung somehow (in the earlier chapters) and later on kept Jiyoung to himself. He tried his best, but only in ways he believed are best without taking in opinions of other people.

► Aeri

She might seem mean (locking Jiyoung in the house, yelling at Jiyoung while she is crying, telling Junho to disappear) but she was the most careful person in the story. She wasn’t planning to lock Jiyoung forever, of course, but she was just really careful and took longer time to make sure Jiyoung is living in the right environment (unlike Junho). Even so, she still considered Junho a family friend and let him see her and take her out. She threatened Junho to spread about his doing on the internet, but in the end she didn’t. She also was ready to give up going after Junho and decided to let Jiyoung stayed with him on the last meeting with Jiyoung.

► Last one. Inspiration.

I was inspired by this one book I read a while ago. It’s Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami. Not exactly a favorite story of mine, but the characters left deep impressions on me. Also, I’m far than being a great writer as Murakami is, but he is a great inspiration, yeah.

Jiyoung is based on Reiko and Naoko. Naoko has a genetically tendency for suicide (but Jiyoung is not, obviously). [spoiler] The way Naoko left in the story sounded almost natural (natural death, I mean). I tried to attempt this kind of impression but I think there’s still something cliché about Jiyoung’s suicide. Reiko on the other hand, another mental patient who became the way she was because of the piano story. She was a (sort of) genius young pianist but oneday found out that she couldn’t use her pinky finger any longer, adn thus had to give up any dream of being a professional pianist.

I apologize if I ever offend anybody. Please correct me if I ever do wrong. Afterall, I’m not an expert psychologist/psychiatrist/etc. Just like other writers out there, I do take pleasure (no matter how sadistic this sounds) in manipulating my readers' thoughts and emotions. In this case, those points above are what I wish to make my readers believe in, regardless whether I succeed in achieving that or not.

Okay. End of blabber. Shoot me now.

P/s: Anyone who read the entire thing, please said so in the comment. I want to send you flowers and cupcakes. Feel free to argue with any of the points above. Afterall, I’m a very lacking writer. It would be great to know other people’s insights.